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In a relationship, some people expect so much change from their partner that they simply miss out on their relationship life. If this sounds like you, here are six signs that you’re living a relationship fantasy.
You’ve been in a relationship for a while but your relationship doesn’t really suit you. Worse, you’re waiting for your partner to change, so that he or she becomes the one you really want…
In reality, you are not really living your relationship, you are rather stuck in a union that is uncomfortable for you. Here are six signs, listed by psychotherapist Léa Aguire in an article for Psychology Todaywhich demonstrate this.
You think about the future of your relationship all the time.
Instead of enjoying your partner and the moment, your mind is constantly on how things could be. They could be “better” or “different” according to you, to better fit what you dream of, ultimately.
You focus on the past
Similarly, you keep thinking back to the beginning of your relationship, when you fell in love with each other. In fact, you prefer that version of your partner.
You make excuses for your partner
Especially apologizing for your partner’s toxic behavior and the hardships he makes you endure on a daily basis.
You are on the defensive
You’re not the only one who feels like something is wrong in your relationship. But when it comes to talking about your relationship with friends or family, you’re on the defensive.
You feel like you’re working harder than your partner on your relationship
With your partner, you want things to change. Unfortunately, this is not necessarily his point of view. And if you notice an improvement on his part, it will only be short-lived.
You are perpetually unhappy
Again, you know deep down that things are wrong, but you fool yourself by trying to ignore at all costs that gut feeling that “something is wrong.”
You can’t change others, you have to question your relationship instead.
If you recognize yourself in these signs, remember one thing: you can’t change a person who doesn’t want to be changed.
Psychotherapist Léa Aguirre reminds us of this.Even though people can change, it’s not something we can control or dictate. So if you keep expecting things to be different, chances are they won’t be.”
Before adding: “If any of these signs resonate with you, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on your own relationship. Are you happy? Are your needs being met? What about your standards and expectations? If the answer is “no” to any of these questions, ask yourself if you have been focusing on “potential” instead of reality. Remember, you deserve a relationship that is fulfilling and meets your needs.”
Slideshow: 10 Signs Your Relationship Is Balanced