Gossip, bullshit, low blows… The tall poppy syndrome, also known as “Tall Poppy Syndrome”, is a trend that particularly affects women when they succeed (more than others).
Success is not for everyone and many individuals who stand out for their accomplishments are quickly confronted with a social pressure to bring them back to the norm. Such are the outlines of the “tall poppy syndrome“. A Canadian study titled The Tallest Poppy Syndrome (The Biggest Poppy Syndrome) conducted between January and February 2023 by the Women of Interest (Woi+) collective revealed that nearly 90% of respondents (4,710 in total) experienced this phenomenon in their environment professional. This finding raises questions about group dynamics and attitudes towards individual success. What is tall poppy syndrome? Why are successful people sometimes victims of their own success? Who is most affected? How to react ?
Definition: what is tall poppy syndrome?
Tall Poppy Syndrome affects individuals who are attacked, criticized, and/or devalued because of their accomplishments and success. It’s about a tendency to belittle and point the finger at those who work hard and are “too big” successful in their field.
“We seek to bring back to “the right size” by “cutting off the head” of the large poppy which rises above the others”
“This phenomenon has its origins in an Australian cultural expression called “The Tall Poppy syndrome” which refers to the behavior adopted by people when faced with someone who is more successful than others, one seeks to bring it back to “the right size” by “cutting off the head” of the large poppy which rises above the others“says Noémie Le Menn, occupational psychologist. This syndrome is characterized by gossip, dirty talk, low blows, black humor and attempts at devaluation to those who rise. THE success of others can be perceived as an insult because it refers everyone to their own limitsthus creating a feeling of worthlessness“adds our expert.
What causes tall poppy syndrome?
Tall Poppy Syndrome behaviors are the result of a lack of self-confidence, fear of the success of others and the tendency to compare oneself to others. “People who engage in these behaviors may feel jealous of the success of others. They may also feel diminished by the success of a person who is progressing faster than them and go so far as to attribute to this person a belittling attitude, even if this is not the case.” emphasizes the psychologist. The perpetrators of these behaviors can be colleagues, friends, family members. These attitudes are also a form of social conformism, where each individual is assigned specific social roles. “As a woman, you may have certain social expectations imposed on you. For example, comments such as “Don’t be surprised if your husband cheats on you because you work too much.” reflect the idea that a woman’s professional success is no longer in line with her traditional role and that she is also in competition with men” maintains Noémie Le Menn.
Putting someone down because of their accomplishments or successes can manifest as:
- of the minimized achievements
- of the exclusions and ignorance
- demeaning phrases “She shouldn’t have a family if she’s doing so well, it’s because she only has her job in her life”
- others who take credit for their work
- THE denigration
- THE derogatory comments
- of the microaggressions and criticisms
“A woman who rises on her own can be seen as a threat”
Who are the people most affected by tall poppy syndrome?
The tall poppy syndrome seems reach more women. “This can be explained by the societal norm that the boss or leader should be a man, while a woman rising up on her own can be seen as a threat. This dynamic can question the place of women in society and raise questions in other women about their own identity as women. Those who deviate from established social norms are often brought back in one way or another to the dominant norm” reminds the psychologist. Women are still often assigned to social roles specific tasks, such as domestic chores, child rearing and family care. “When they succeed and move away from these traditional roles, it challenges the established order for those who adhere to this vision of society and roles. This questioning can provoke negative reactions and behaviors of devaluation towards women who emancipate themselves and reach high levels of professional success“says Noémie Le Mann.
What are the consequences ?
The experience of tall poppy syndrome is detrimental to professional and personal life. Among the consequences are:
- THE stress
- there loss of self-confidence
- a feeling isolation
- a feeling exhaustion
- a lack of desire to share or celebrate success and accomplishments
- not feeling appreciated
- to feel sabotaged
- depression
“The impact depends on the sensitivity of the individuals but they are the same consequences that a moral harassment” adds the psychologist. It is important to become aware of this syndrome and its harmful consequences on the self-confidence and motivation of the people who are victims of it. “Society should encourage and celebrate individual achievements rather than seek to devalue them.” adds our interlocutor. Moreover, criticisms and attempts at devaluation can reinforce feelings of imposture and worsen impostor syndrome if the person is prone to it.
What should I do if I have tall poppy syndrome?
“First of all, it is crucial to accept that theyou can’t please everyone in the professional world“replies Noémie Le Menn straight away. It is important to stop looking for everyone’s affection at all costs and especially at work. “Ignore backbiting behavior and gaining height protects against low blows“. The psychologist also recalls the importance of surround yourself with sincere friendships, talk to family members. The role of those around you is to sincerely encourage, congratulate and rejoice in the success of those close to you. In some cases, it may be necessary to consult a professional, whether it is a psychologist or a psychiatrist, to detach oneself from this situation.
► For authors of the tall poppy syndrome“it’s important to refocus attention on one’s own talents rather than comparing themselves to others. It can indicate a problem with self-esteem and it is essential to stop comparing yourself and seek help. The idea is to focus on their own professional project, identify their aspirations and take steps to succeed. By drawing inspiration from the good attitudes of the “big poppy”, we can in turn flourish and succeed. It is crucial to sto get rid of bitterness, to reconcile with oneself and to accompany each other towards personal success” develops the psychologist. It is essential to recognize that these attitudes are rooted in outdated social patterns. One person’s success should not be a threat to others, but rather a source of inspiration. It is important to challenge these stereotypes and to promote equal opportunities and the valuing of all successes, whether male or female.
Thanks to Noémie Le Menn, occupational psychologist.
- The Tallest Poppy, Woi+, 2023