“When a child ends his life, there are no words to express the emotion, the grief, the pain. There are no words…”. So spoke Pap Ndiaye, his voice strangled by emotion, this Wednesday, January 18 in the Senate, a few days after the suicide of Lucas, 13 years old. The teenager’s parents claim that he was harassed because of his homosexuality. Before taking action, on January 7, he had expressed “his desire to end his life” in his diary. An investigation has been opened to shed light on the exact circumstances of his death. In the meantime, the questions are jostling: what solutions have been put in place on the ground to try to stop this phenomenon of harassment of a homophobic nature? What to do to prevent this from happening again?
“Even if we regularly manage to put an end to many situations, there are unfortunately cases that go under the radar and can escape us”, recognizes Florence Delannoy, headmaster and member of SNPDEN, the unions of management staff. If no precise statistics exist on the subject, it is certain that the problem persists, even worsens, to hear the various actors in the field. The young people most at risk are middle school students who are going through a period of life that makes them particularly fragile and vulnerable. “40% of the testimonies we receive from victims of LGBTphobic acts report harassment,” explains Lucile Jomat, president of the SOS Homophobia association. Even if not all lead to such a dramatic outcome, the impact on the children and adolescents targeted by such acts is considerable.
For Eric Debarbieux, former ministerial delegate responsible for preventing and combating violence in schools, these homophobic attacks are all sexist in nature. “It is the pejoration of the feminine that is in question”, insists this specialist. Boys are as affected as girls, if not more so. “A student deemed too gentle, too nice, too good a student can provoke the wrath of his classmates, on the pretext that these are so-called feminine characteristics”, explains Eric Debarbieux. Beware of him if he does not stick to current standards of manhood.
“Clash culture”
Another situation that can provoke hostile demonstrations by a student or a group of teenagers: cases of “outing”. “When they reveal their sexual orientation, some young people can be rejected by some of their peers, deplores Lucile Jomat. The perpetrators of harassment like to attack those who seem different to them, which is why LGBT people are often targets. .”
Pupils, in the name of their beliefs, can also have an attitude of rejection vis-à-vis them. “Some people place their religion above the law, which can lead to violence,” confirms Lucile Jomat. Many teachers also deplore this “culture of clash” maintained by certain television programs or by social networks. Proof that the responsibility for this phenomenon goes far beyond the sole field of the school.
However, the educational institution is in the front line when it comes to countering these phenomena of harassment. Listening and assistance services for victims and witnesses of homophobia and transphobia, video testimonials from students, prevention campaigns, publication of brochures or circulars, etc. Several tools have been put in place by National Education in these last years. Wednesday, January 18, in front of the Senate, Pap Ndiaye affirmed to work so that the courses of education in the sexuality are correctly exempted. Which is far from being the case today. “I have decided that in each academy should be generalized, in the coming weeks, awareness, prevention and action groups against LGBTphobia”, added the minister.
“If your friend tells you he’s gay, how do you react?”
On the ground, associations often come to reinforce the educational teams to carry out prevention missions. “We regularly intervene in schools to deconstruct stereotypes and get young people to think about discrimination in general, then about those related to sexism and LGBTphobia,” explains Lucile Jomat. The idea being to put young people in front of very concrete situations – “If your friend tells you that he is gay, how do you react?” – to start a dialogue with them and not give them ready-made answers. Other external speakers focus their speeches on the dangers of social networks which sometimes encourage online harassment. Problem: the associations are not numerous enough to meet all the demands. “Our volunteers meet only 30,000 young people each year, it’s only a drop of water”, regrets Lucile Jomat. The young woman pleads for compulsory continuing training for National Education staff on these issues.
The fight against harassment is a delicate mission. The challenge for the teaching staff is to identify potential victims and encourage them to speak as early as possible, before the situation escalates. “This involves setting up or identifying listening places such as the CDI, the CPE office, the infirmary or the permanence of the social worker. So many places where the student knows that he will be able to exchange in all discretion with people of confidence”, insists Florence Delannoy. In this type of case, it is urgent to act without waiting for the conflicts to become encysted. Some signals can alert adults such as a form of withdrawal, a drop in school results, headaches or stomach aches, acts of scarification or cases of anorexia. This requires a great deal of attention and vigilance.
“Some victims of bullying will never talk about it but will develop deep depressive disorders which may continue into adulthood”, warns Eric Debarbieux, for whom fighting against bullying, whether homophobic or otherwise, is is first of all to fight against loneliness. “Often, the victim is so afraid of reprisals that she thinks she has no choice but to change establishments. For her, it’s a double penalty!” exclaims Lucile Jomat. This is why the phenomenon must be treated with subtlety. Impossible to stick to protocols or ready-made measures, each case requires responses adapted to the situation, the context, the type of public welcomed by the establishment. Without ever losing sight of this intangible principle: respect the word of the victim and do nothing without their agreement, at the risk of betraying their trust.
“Then we call the author to have a one-on-one conversation, remind him of the law and what he risks if he persists. In general, it is quite effective”, explains Florence Delannoy who always bets on the dialogue before proceeding with any sanction. In the event of a repeat offence, the perpetrator risks the disciplinary council, or even exclusion from the establishment. Eric Debarbieux, however, warns against the potentially counterproductive effects of punishments. “For some boys, being punished will help them feel more ‘manly’, to stick to the image of the bad boy or the tough guy who imposes it.” For the specialist, the punishment can be likened to a “medal of virility”. So beware of the risk of escalation. Finally, it is obviously essential to involve the parents of students by making them aware of the issue upstream and, in the event of a crisis, by involving them in the decisions.Always in this process of breaking the loneliness and isolation in which many families find themselves immersed.