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in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical Psychologist)
Dissatisfaction, revenge, desire for something new… We (finally) reveal to you what lies behind women’s infidelity.
What does infidelity say about women? A recent study published in Evolution and Human Behavior sheds tremendous light on the motivations of women.
Keeping the best in everyone
If infidelity has long been “justified” in men by the need to strengthen their ego, in women, the causes are quite different. Women seem to seek the best “genetic material” possible from a partner while retaining the parental qualities of the main spouse.
“It may sound funny, but the evolutionary causes of female infidelity in humans are a hotly debated topic in my academic field. In a way, there are too many good explanations for this phenomenon!” says study author Macken Murphy, a PhD student at the University of Melbourne and host of the podcast “Species.”
To reach this conclusion, 254 English-speaking heterosexual men and women who had committed infidelities were interviewed.
Three main components were then analyzed:
- Physical attraction to lover and primary partner;
- Psychological attraction (qualities of the other);
- Parental attraction (perceived parenting abilities and ability to raise children together).
Participants were also asked to describe, in a few words, the reasons that led them to have an affair.
The researchers found that women tended to be more attracted to their lover than to their official spouse. However, the latter was seen as “more capable” of playing the role of co-parent. This suggests that women are generally not looking to replace their official partner with their lover – but to seize the best “advantages” of each.
“This model fits the double-union strategy, where the primary goal of an affair is to combine the “good genes” of an unfaithful partner with the parental support of the primary partner,” confirms the site Psypost.
“Interestingly, unfaithful women often perceive their lover as more physically attractive, while viewing their spouse as a better co-parent.“, comments Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.Female motivations are therefore not simply sexual, but also and above all emotional. The notion of revenge following a past betrayal also plays a significant role..”
The study found that this pattern – being unfaithful to seek genetic advantages from sexually attractive partners – was also common among men.
Some participants also indicated that they cheated on their spouses.to find a better long term partner“. Finally, others explained that they wanted to live from “new experiences” (desire for variety and novelty) to justify their relationships.
“Emotional and sexual dissatisfaction”
Faced with these results, Amélie Boukhobza wishes to add some nuance.
“My field observations confirm that thefemale infidelity cannot be reduced to a single cause. Most often, the primary motivation concerns emotional and sexual dissatisfaction. Some women may seek to fill these gaps elsewhere. The desire for variety, that is, a need for novelty and excitement, can push some to explore new relationships,” she believes.
Relationship problems, conflicts, lack of communication or weakened complicity can also lead to infidelity, adds the expert.
“Sometimes, it is a need to feel desired and appreciated that pushes one to adultery, especially when routine sets in for the couple. Because feeling desired again, looked at, even loved… is considerably reassuring. Finally, in some cases, a desire for revenge and a feeling of betrayal due to infidelity or behavior perceived as unfair on the part of the partner can indeed be motivations, although this is less frequent,” reveals the psychologist, in conclusion.
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