Published ,
Reading 2 mins.
To be well, to be beautiful, to be happy, everywhere, all the time and in all circumstances, this is the injunction to which we are subject almost permanently. Stop! According to Sabrina Philippe, psychologist and member of the committee of experts of Doctissimo, it is necessary to get out of this permanent guilt to enter the path of acceptance.
Magazines, books, social networks tell us that permanent well-being is within our reach and that it is therefore up to us to find it. Many therefore wonder how to access this Grail, and above all, why they do not succeed…
A latent and suffocating guilt…
This cult of well-being, affecting both our body and our mind, places us in guilt as soon as we fail to follow the established models, or when they prove ineffective. Why do I have such a disease when I try to follow diet, sport, method to maintain full health? Why do I still have anxieties even though I practice meditation every day?
The idea that we are not doing enough or not good enough underlies these questions and often places the individual on an unbenevolent and never-ending quest.
And yet, permanent well-being is a mirage. It only exists on paper or on screen… glossy!
Moreover, the question of normality often arises during psychological consultations forcing us to reposition the human, imperfect, at the center. Yes, it is normal to be wrong, to experience anger, sadness, anxiety and fear sometimes. We cannot live in a permanent positivity and fortunately.
Because our anxieties, our fears, our tears are as essential to us as our joys and smiles. They are great indicators as to the transformations necessary for our evolution, sign our humanity, incline us to tolerance and compassion towards others. And then, how can we question ourselves, and ultimately modify our paths without this energy deployed to escape what torments us?
Go to a better being
Certainly, all our life, we seek to improve ourselves, by trial and error. Finding a certain inner tranquility, having the most suitable behavior possible towards our loved ones, at work, developing positive thoughts and feelings… And sometimes a book, an article, a consultation will give us additional keys to reach for it.
But as you will no doubt have noticed, as soon as we find a kind of balance, it is called into question by a minor or major event which comes to reshuffle the cards of our course on a small or large scale.
Life being a permanent movement, we are ourselves in movement as well in our body as our mind, in learning and this until our last hour. It is therefore quite obvious that we cannot keep this blissful balance in a sustainable way.
The path to acceptance
Perfection not being of this world, neither our lives nor ourselves will ever be…
We will always have thoughts, feelings, desires, behaviors that affect us. Of course, when they hinder us, when they prevent us from loving or working, it is up to us to find a solution to alleviate them.
But there can be a certain abuse in wanting to be always good, always better, in ruthlessly judging our flaws, looking at an unattainable ideal model.
So accepting ourselves quite simply, fully, in the positive and darker dimensions of our personalities is in itself therapeutic, and liberating. Accept yourself, at all costs!