“Rigged for us to fail”

As a 15-year-old, Fanny Wiman suffered from self-harming behavior and did not like herself.

Now she wants to help others let go of the performance requirements with the “shitty-philosophy”.

– We live in a system that is somehow rigged for us to fail from the start. Because it is completely impossible to live up to this perfect that we see, she says.

Fanny Widman runs the podcast Fanny’s role models and she has written the book Skitsammafilosofin. With it, she wants to help others see beyond society’s demands. The philosophy is to learn what to care about and what not to care about.

– It’s not about walking around and pointing the finger at life or shitting on everyone around you. It’s about us caring, but caring about what’s really important to us. Then it becomes easier to understand why you do things and ignore what people think about it, says Fanny Widman.

Didn’t like himself

The basis of her philosophy is based on the fact that she herself has had and felt bad from too high demands on herself. As a 15-year-old, Fanny Widman suffered from self-harming behavior and eating disorders.

– Everything was very dark when I was 15 years old. I tried to take my life. When I look back on it, I can’t say that it was about not liking myself. I have never liked myself or looked in the mirror and been proud of who I am, she says.

“Society is rigged for us to fail”

She believes that society is rigged in a way that makes it easy for us to hate ourselves.

– There is an image of how we should be and what we should do in our lives. We live in a system that is somehow rigged for us to fail from the start. Because it is completely impossible to live up to this perfect that we see. We are always reminded of what we can be better at instead of accepting that maybe we are good as we are.

Fanny’s tips for a better self-esteem

We need to see through this system to understand that it is not ourselves that is at fault, she says. Furthermore, she advises to ask yourself for whom you do things and try not to take yourself too seriously.

– When we don’t take ourselves so seriously and don’t seek the confirmation of others all the time, we can also gain some distance from ourselves. It makes it easier to give a crap about what people think of us, because then we can get some distance from our feelings and think about how we relate to the system. It’s much easier if I let go of my ego and don’t take myself so seriously, she says.

When Fanny Widman looks at herself in the mirror today, she likes the person she sees. The way out was a lot about what she chose to focus on and who she surrounds herself with.

– Equality has become my heart issue and the purpose of everything I do and then relationships are very important to me and I have chosen them with care. I feel great today. I am at a place in life where I am so content. I am happy with myself and I love myself.