The survey of cold facts points to the fact that rape and sexual assault against gay men is more common than previously thought, but few report it.
Now the RFSL is reacting to the review.
– It is very urgent, we have to start taking this seriously, says Peter Håman from RFSL.
The organization RFSL has taken part in Kalla fakta’s review, which shows that many gay men who have been subjected to sexual abuse refrain from reporting to the police. RFSL’s Peter Håman, who himself is part of the community, understands why many are hesitant to turn to the police.
– You are unsure of how you would be greeted by a man in uniform. Will they understand what violence between men looks like? Will I be taken seriously or will they think I’m “silly”?
“No one talks about it”
At the same time, RFSL is self-critical and believes that there is a culture of silence within the Swedish gay world that they have not succeeded in breaking. Peter Håman tells us that many people prefer to smooth it over or joke about it.
– It’s an internalized shame that means you don’t talk about it and think it was your own fault. You think that “you can take a little, I went there anyway”.
Peter Håman leads workshops with men who have been exposed to sexual violence. There, he has noticed that it can take time before they understand that they have been part of an abuse.
– The saddest thing about this is that men who have sex with men do not even realize that they have been exposed to sexual violence. It is so normalised, he says.
To put it in perspective, he asks the men: “Would you have thought it was okay if someone did that to your girl friend?”. Then the answer is usually no.
The situation is urgent
Now Peter Håman and the RFSL believe that society and authorities such as the police and healthcare must act so that more men will dare to report.
– It should have happened a long time ago, the situation is urgent. We have the right to expect the same support and treatment as everyone else.
He thinks it is important that the issue of abuse between men be addressed. Especially for young gays.
– What is happening now is for the guy I once was. My curiosity was so filled with shame and uncertainty. If there is someone out there who can have a better sexual debut than many in our group have had, it is worth it, says Peter Håman at RFSL.