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in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
Do you know rejection therapy? This is a new trendy practice on networks which consists of placing oneself in “uncomfortable” situations. We’ll explain it to you.
In a meeting at work or in the evening at a bar, do you feel deep anxiety? Perhaps you have “social anxiety,” a disorder characterized by fear or anxiety about certain situations. Good news, however: it is entirely possible to remedy it thanks to an astonishing method: “rejection therapy”.
Rejection therapy, what is it?
It was on the social network Tiktok that “rejection therapy” took root. A technique, which consists of voluntarily confronting embarrassing or uncomfortable situations, with the aim of reducing one’s social anxiety… and desensitizing oneself to the eyes of others.
Concretely, rejection therapy pushes participants to step out of their comfort zone, by making them interact in public spaces or by pushing them to ask incongruous questions to strangers.
But if this method is a hit on Tiktok, it is actually not entirely new. It recalls a well-known approach in psychology: cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), a type of therapy that uses “progressive exposure” to treat various anxiety disorders, such as social anxiety, phobias and panic disorder.
“Gradual exposure allows the patient to learn to tolerate the object of their fear in small steps“, reveals Nathalie Darmon, psychologist, to our colleagues at the magazine She.
A “strategy” confirmed by Amélie Boukhobza, our psychologist expert: “We attack fears directly by confronting them repeatedly, until they eventually lose their power. Little by little, we realize that a refusal is not catastrophic and that it does not define us.”
In other words, gradually confronting one or more anxiety-provoking stimuli (for example surviving after work or facing a work meeting in the company of one’s superiors) makes it possible to reduce the emotional response associated with these situations.
By directly exposing patients to situations they fear, “rejection therapy” ultimately helps them to reduce their sensitivity to the judgment of others, to become aware of the extent of their fears (no, speaking up in a meeting or interacting with strangers is not “shameful”) and to boost their self-confidence.
However, to benefit from its “benefits”, this practice must be supervised.
“Understanding the roots of this anxiety, talking about it and analyzing the emotions aroused, is fundamental before embarking on direct situations.“, warns Nathalie Darmon.
Good in his body, good in his head!
Rejection therapy: what does our psychologist expert think?
For Amélie Boukhobza, this type of exercise can transform a threatening situation into a “learning opportunity“.
“By exposing ourselves to a few “no’s”, we realize that the anxiety, too, ends up diminishing. It’s like a muscle: the more you train it, the more you build your confidence. And over time, we realize that the judgment of others is not as impenetrable as we thought.” she assures.
That being said, rejection therapy is not for everyone.
“It requires a good dose of courage and solid mental preparation. But for those who want to regain control of their social anxiety, this approach may be an idea. Be careful with excess though: too many successive rejections can also be emotionally exhausting. It’s about finding your rhythm, without forgetting to preserve yourself. It may therefore be preferable to be accompanied by a professional at the same time“, concludes the practitioner.
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