Sleep, language, cleanliness… Does your child wake up again at night or pee on him again when he was clean? He is surely going through a phase of regression where he behaves like a baby. At what age does this phase of childhood occur? Insight with psychologist Mathilde Bouychou.
Growing up, the child may experience one or more regression phases, as a rollback on certain behaviors. Suddenly he adopts a baby behavior and all the progress he had made so far seems a long way off or totally gone. This can concern sleep, cleanliness or even language. Such changes in behavior are common in childrenand very disturbing for parents who are sometimes helpless in the face of these regression phasesyet normal. At what age does the regression phase begin in children? What can cause it? Answers with Mathilde Bouychou, clinical psychologist-perinatal psychotherapist.
What is regression in children?
Regression is a stage that is part of normal child development. Faced with a sudden change, he will return to a stage of development which he knows and which reassures him. For example, baby had been sleeping through the night for several weeks and suddenly, for no apparent reason, wakes up again. This little girl in whom cleanliness seemed acquired multiplies the small accidents. This other child again asks for bottles or sucks his thumb when he had stopped several months ago.
Depending on the case, we then speak of sleep regression, language regressionor even regression of cleanliness. According to the psychologist Mathilde Bouychou, these phases of regression are even possible at all ages of life. “An adult who goes to eat chocolate because he is in bad spirits, the cravings of a pregnant woman, all of this comes under the same regression mechanism“, specifies the specialist.
At what age does regression occur in children?
In the child, regression phases usually occur between 0 and 3 years old, and even beyond, because the child is brought to live other stressful situations during his life. It is this type of situation that can push the child to enter a phase of regression, to feel safe again.
Why does my child regress and “baby”?
Different factors can explain why a child regresses. “Before each important stage of development, there may be a regression phase. This does not sign a step back, but on the contrary a step forward“, emphasizes the psychologist. A 3-year-old child who is about to start school and who is asked to be more independent may, for example, ask their parents again to dress them or ask for a bottle in the morning. “It’s his way of expressing his concern about the change to come. (entrance to school editor’s note)”, specifies Mathilde Bouychou.
“Before each important stage of development, there may be a phase of regression. This does not sign a step back, but on the contrary a leap forward.”
A key moment in child development
In babies, a regression phase can be a sign of a big step to come in their development, such as learning to walk or the first words. He will then take a small step back and consolidate himself in what he knows before moving forward for good. For the psychologist, “There is nothing to worry about, this is a normal process“.
A shocking event for the child
We can also observe a regression if an event occurs in the family : the birth of a little brother or a little sister, a move, the loss of a job, bereavement. At that time, in response to his parents’ sadness or worry, and when he is not yet able to explain what he is feeling, the child may go through a flashback phase. Again, nothing to worry about. “This means that the child becomes aware of his surroundings and the emotions of the people close to him. It is a sign of good mental health.“, reassures the specialist. Of course, this does not prevent parents from worrying and even sometimes being annoyed by what they can interpret as a whim.
As a parent, “if this phase of regression is transitory, there is no need to worry, but it is still important to accompany the child“, recommends the psychologist. If he is disturbed by the arrival of another baby in the family, he is then essential to communicate with the child and reassure him. “Parents can, for example, explain to him that they wanted to have another child, precisely because he was extraordinary! They also have the opportunity to show him photos of him as a baby so that he understands that he too was able to enjoy this precious time with them.“. We must accept this movement of regression and at the same time talk frankly about it with the child saying to him, for example:i see you playing baby“, but valuing the fact that he is now a great, and highlighting all the great new things that await him.