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When you have been in a relationship for a long time and know that you have found the right person, you may want to have children. How do you know if your partner is made for this? Here are five signs that your spouse wouldn’t make a good parent, according to a psychologist.
Before having a child, we always want to be sure that we are in a relationship with the right person. But do we ask ourselves enough if our partner could make a good parent? Here are five signs to look for in his behavior that this won’t be the case, according to Alan Kazdin, a psychologist at Yale University, whose comments were reported by the Daily Mail.
He doesn’t know how to set limits
Setting boundaries is essential to respecting yourself and obtaining the respect of others. If your partner has difficulty doing this, whether with you or with people around him, he may have the same difficulty with your child later. However, this aspect is essential in the education of children. Setting clear rules and teaching them to apply them: these two notions represent an essential educational basis.
He tells you what to do
If on a daily basis, your partner constantly needs to dictate to you what you have to do, he will surely behave the same way with your child. This way of doing things is harmful for the development of the youngest, because it is opposed to the notion of autonomy, a capacity that they must acquire. Autonomy also contributes to the proper development of their cognitive and emotional capacities and promotes the acquisition of new skills.
He does not carry out his share of tasks
To run a household, it is necessary to do the cleaning, the meals, the shopping… So many tasks that are very time-consuming for two people, but even more so with a child! If your spouse does not take his part, it is difficult to pass this obligation on to your child. However, involving them in household chores teaches them responsibility.
He feels emotions (too) intensely
Fracture, sprain or even minor injury, children can be injured at any time, whether when learning to walk or later, while playing. In these moments, they need a parent who knows how to stay calm and reassure them. If your partner loses his temper and cannot calm down in this type of situation, he will not be able to teach his child to do so. Without forgetting the fact that children feel their parents’ stress and will in turn become anxious.
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He has difficulty being empathetic
Do you notice that on a daily basis, your partner has difficulty understanding you, putting himself in your place? He probably lacks empathy. And if so, he will do the same with his child. However, empathy is an essential quality for successfully communicating with a child, understanding their feelings and reacting accordingly. So many important elements for the successful education of a child.
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