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It’s common to share personal details or future plans with someone you’ve just met. However, doing it too quickly or excessively can compromise a budding relationship by scaring the partner. This behavior, known as “PMI” or “premature intimacy,” also risks eliminating the mystery that fuels the attraction.
It’s not uncommon to get excited when you come across someone who is ideal in your eyes. We have butterflies in our stomachs and we want to make the relationship a reality as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, all this excitement sometimes fails us and pushes us to indulge or project ourselves too quickly. In the world of dating this is what we call “PMI” or “premature intimacy”. And it can ruin your relationships.
This acronym refers to prematurely and excessively sharing details about one’s personal life. Sharing your plans for the future (marriage, children), but also your childhood traumas and your fantasies too early are part of this. PMI can also manifest as too much physical affection and indiscreet questions. And this is not without consequences.
Revealing your privacy very quickly can completely disrupt a budding relationship. It can not only scare your partner, but also give you a personality that doesn’t stick with you. Jessica Alderson, relationship expert, requested by Stylistrecalls that “the gradual disclosure of personal details can contribute to the pleasure of discovering more about the other person over time“. Unlike PMI, which completely removes the part of mystery which fuels the attraction of the other.
According to a study by dating site Plenty of Fish, PMI has become one of the most common problematic love trends. Investigation reveals that out of 6,000 Americans surveyed, 65% have already dealt with excessive sharing from a partner. Jessica Anderson explains the origins of this behavior:
“Some people fear rejection or abandonment and believe that by opening up quickly, they can create a strong bond”, she analyzes. “They may think that by being vulnerable and sharing personal information early on in the meeting, their partner will view them as more desirable or trustworthy.”“.
Another reason could be that some people just don’t see the harm in sharing a lot of personal details about their lives. “They may not realize that their level of disclosure is higher than is usual at the beginning of a relationship,” she says. “We all have different levels of openness and vulnerability, and some people are just more naturally inclined to share personal information.”
According to relationship expert Georgia Grace interviewed by the NY Post, starting a new relationship can be synonymous with adventure and adrenaline, but it is still important “to have friendships, to see family and to go to work, in order to maintain a sense of self that is not lost in the energy of the new relationship.” In other words, just because you’re having an idyllic start to your relationship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep a secret garden. And then, discovering your partner’s life layer by layer is much more pleasant.