Pink October: Affected by cancer, Charlotte Pascal proclaims the importance of friends in the battle

Coping with breast cancer is a difficult ordeal that one in 8 women will experience in their life, according to statistics. An ordeal that can be alleviated, a little, by those around you and friends who dare to approach and remain present throughout the care process. Charlotte Pascal, author, experienced this herself during her own breast cancer a few years ago. She tells us why it is essential to highlight this link.

It is rare to emphasize the importance of friendship when talking about cancer. Why did you write this book?

Charlotte Pascal : When I received my diagnosis, despite the words of the doctors who asked me if I had friends or family to support me, I did not think I needed support. But we do not realize, at the beginning, the importance that the entourage can have, as the treatment progresses and comes to an end, it is very complicated. I wrote this book on the one hand to say thank you to those who have been supporters, but also to give details, give concrete tips to those who are there, but don’t know what to say or what to do. These are times when a lot of things are said too, I wanted to spare that for the affected women and their friends.

When were your friends most important?

It’s not at the beginning in any case, on the contrary. The announcement of my cancer was a difficult moment that I did not like, precisely because we are faced with the reaction of our friends who are afraid for us, who are afraid of death and illness, and are not ready to hear what you say. I quickly opted for the SMS announcement to let them digest. But above all else, their presence is essential to keep going, especially at the end of treatments, when we have the impression that we are still strong, that we have energy but that fatigue catches up with us. In those moments, a simple call to drive us to our chemo session is a precious gift. Help us choose a bra with a prosthesis as well.

Is having “female” friends important in reclaiming the body?

Yes I think so. Women help more with the physical side, because they understand. Men, even a husband, no matter how caring and adorable he may be, cannot really understand what we are going through. I also have a deep thought for the men who are increasingly affected by breast cancer and must feel very alone. I needed this feminine support which is necessarily benevolent. And who even organized a “pink party” for me, to celebrate femininity, before my mastectomy. Only with friends could I experience this.

What is the right attitude to help your friend?

On the “good ideas” side, small touches and presence are undoubtedly the attitudes that help the most. Do you find a nail polish, a cream, a turban that would be perfect for your friend? Don’t tell her, she doesn’t want to go shopping because it depresses her. Give it to him, it will be very well taken. Likewise, accompanying a friend to her chemotherapy sessions is priceless, even if she tells you that it bothers her, that you will be bored. The sessions are long and painful, especially the last ones. Go for it !

And the attitudes to avoid?

There are many awkward words! Even if we know that they come from a good feeling. So talking about the operated breast, the hair that is falling out, even if it is to say that it suits us well, is not ideal. What you need to know is that the sick woman needs presence, but not necessarily reassuring words which, in any case, bring her back to her illness. Be there to listen to her, and if she doesn’t need it, take her mind off things, talk about yourself, other things. Then trust your friend: through the ordeal you learn to know your body well. So if she declines an outing because she’s tired, don’t insist. But if she wants to go out to breathe, because she feels capable of doing so, follow along without asking her if she is sure.

All the other ideas and advice can be found in the book, undoubtedly the only one written on this subject.