Photo: Bildbyrån
Börje Salming died two years ago.
Now his widow Pia talks about what it’s like to live with grief today.
– Sometimes I have felt that it is completely useless to live when he is not there, she tells Femina.
On November 24, 2022, the announcement that everyone anticipated for a long time came. The hockey legend Börje Salming had passed away from the effects of the nerve disease ALS – aged 71, he fell asleep in his home surrounded by his family. It has now been almost two years.
Börje Salming’s time with ALS
In a long interview with Femina, his widow tells Pia Salming56, about how tough the last few years have been and how today she lives with grief in a different way. She says that her entire apartment, which she moved to from the home she shared with Börje, is filled with things that remind her of him. Pictures and paintings that represent him and that she constantly sees and sometimes walks up to and pats or kisses.
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It was at the end of 2021 that NHL pioneer and Toronto Maple Leafs icon Börje Salming suffered from ALS, the neurological disease for which there is no cure. In the months that followed, he got progressively worse. Fatigue, the breathing that got worse, the muscles that got weaker. At the end of the summer he told the whole world what had befallen him – a few months later he was dead.
– Seeing the one you love suffer so much is terrible for all relatives. I tried to do the best for him all the time. You put yourself as a shadow figure. You know he’s suffering all the time, and there’s nothing you can do to make it better. Then, as his speech started to get worse, I had to be his voice and convey everything to family and friends, says Pia about how painful it was as a relative.
Pia Salming did not want to live
For a period she didn’t feel like his wife at all. She became like his caretaker who constantly needed to take care of him. He saw how she barely had the energy herself, her whole existence consisted of her going out of her way to make him feel good. She couldn’t take it anymore. After Börje’s death, Pia suffered from brain fatigue and was on sick leave. She was both mentally and physically exhausted.
– I have thought so many times about what it is that keeps you from killing yourself when you feel so bad, because I have sometimes felt that it is completely useless to live when he is not around. But at the same time the zest for life is so strong. I didn’t want to die but I didn’t want to live either. Börje didn’t get the chance to live, but I did. Therefore, I owe it to him to do something with my life. Life is so empty without him and he will be missed, she says.
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Today, Pia’s life is better. She’s in a slightly better place. She spends more time with her two daughters, whom she prioritized when Börje was ill, and is actually going to be a grandmother next year. She is constantly reminded of her beloved husband as his face and name flash by on television screens. But it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. In the future, she can even imagine meeting someone new, even if the wound from Börje will never really heal completely.
– The first year everything was pitch black. But I have realized that he will always be missed for me and he will always be important in my life. When I miss him, I can sit down and cry for a while, but then I can shake it off and move on. It’s going very slowly, but I feel like it’s becoming more and more manageable, she says.
So strong and brave that you dare to tell, Pia. Hope you feel better and take care. What you were a part of was terrible, there are many of us who are thinking of you and your and Börje’s family.
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