They never miss an opportunity to correct others and give unsolicited advice. But who are these moralizers?
They have an answer for everything and pride themselves on being extremely cultured. Science, relationships, parenting, sexuality, history, and politics hold no secrets for them. During a conversation, they don’t hesitate to interrupt us to show that they have the truth. In short, they always know everything better than everyone else. A behavior that is oh so annoying. What is the typical profile of these people and how can we shut them up? We asked a psychologist.
“People who know everything or think they know everything are annoying, often lack empathy and do not invite discussion. They may arouse admiration at first but very quickly, their need to control everything takes over.”explains Pascal Anger, psychologist. In reality, their confidence hides a major narcissistic flaw and a need to be reassured. Deep down, people who believe they know everything are full of doubts and anxieties. They seek to reassure themselves by showing their interlocutors that they have value since they have solid knowledge. “Most often, these are individuals who, at a very young age, had to take on responsibilities that were not appropriate for their age. For example, taking care of their brothers and sisters, sometimes even their entire family, which caused them a need to reassure themselves and to value themselves in the eyes of others.”deciphers the specialist. They also have a great need for love, to put themselves forward and sometimes even an unconscious need to manipulate those around them.
These people may also have lacked a caring and rewarding gaze during their childhood. Where parents are supposed to encourage and praise their children, they have received only reproach and contempt. So they learned, very early in life, to outbid each other to get attention and prove that they were worthy of interest.
That being said, this is an annoying behavior that can prevent you from building strong relationships. What should you do if you recognize yourself in this description? “It is important to learn to say “I don’t know”, “I want to learn and improve” because we know that no one knows everything”suggests Pascal Anger. How to react when the living encyclopedia is a friend? At first, it can be difficult to contradict these people, to make them hear their distortion and to bring them back to reality because they overestimate themselves. Rather than trying to debate and show the other person that he is wrong, it is better to tell him that we understand his position but that we do not have the same vision of things. By recognizing our own powerlessness, we will encourage the other person to do the same.