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In the world of toxic partners, a newcomer bearing the term “paper clipping” could well trample on your self-confidence. A romantic profile to avoid. Here’s how to recognize it.
After toxic partners who use ghosting, lovebombing, or backburning, here is a new term arriving on the dating market, that of “paper clipping” (or paper cutting in French). A seemingly common profile, here’s how to spot it.
What do you call a paper clipper?
Paper clipping takes its name from Clippy, Microsoft’s virtual assistant, known for popping up unexpectedly in your IT work. It characterizes here a toxic relationship, in which the commitment remains superficial and one-sided. For what ? Because one of the people tends to disappear without a trace, only to reappear just as suddenly whenever they want… Enough to maintain a connection (and keep you close) but not enough to develop an intimate relationship. An intermittent contact which does not allow a stable relationship to be nourished, and which it is better to be wary of.
“These ‘paper clippers’ are not interested in a long-term relationship and are emotionally unavailable, which means they avoid intimacy and therefore keep conversations shorts. It could also be that this person is already in a relationship and wants to keep you on the back burner in case that relationship doesn’t work out, or that they are dating other people and don’t want to commit to just one person at the time. times” indicates psychologist Limor Gottlieb, to the media Metro.
Behavior that attacks self-confidence
The paper clipper ultimately plays both sides (sometimes unintentionally). According to Dr Sarah Taylor, senior lecturer in psychology at Cardiff Metropolitan University, on the one hand it provides “instant gratification” (yay he/she called me back!), because the response, the sudden and unexpected SMS, gives the person seeking attention what they need and reassures them: the other person is still interested!
But in this quest for validation, the culprit impacts both trust and the possibility of truly being able to establish a relationship. “In addition to frustration, confusion and stress, this situation gives rise to false hope, because the person being deceived first feels that a relationship could be developed from this connection, and then seeing these hopes dashed, which can make her feel exploited.”
Good in his body, good in his head!
Immature profiles that multiply via networks
Beneath his friendly appearance and the good times (at first) spent together, the paper clipper does not only have advantages, if you are looking for love.
“They are likely to be emotionally immature and unable to commit to a meaningful relationship,” explains Dr. Sarah. “They also fear rejection, feel insecure, and lack self-esteem and self-confidence.”
To add to this, the online dating landscape has radically changed the way we form relationships, and the expectations we place on ourselves in terms of respectful behavior. In other words, to avoid commitment, the paper clipper will be spoiled for choice via his networks and will not be burdened with a responsible explanation. So many good reasons to give up on him (or her), like unchecking an unwanted application.
Slide: 6 types of sentences spoken by toxic people