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Life is far from being a long, quiet river. And sometimes, when the challenges pile up, it’s hard to see the positive. That’s precisely the role of non-toxic positivity: being aware of the situation and still identifying positive points. Here are five ways to do it, according to American psychologist Sandra Wartski.
Difficulties and sad events are part of life. They usually happen without us wanting them to and it is essential to face them in order to move forward. But when the trials come one after the other, it can be difficult to get your head above water and find positive points in the situation.
For this, the American psychologist Sandra Wartski, interviewed by Psychology Todayrecommends five approaches, relevant to metaphor.
The image of the glass of salt water
A glass of salt water is not pleasant to drink. However, it is impossible to remove the salt that the water contains, since it has dissolved. But if we take this glass of water and pour it into a much larger quantity of fresh water, the salt concentration and the degree of salinity of the water will be much less important.Similarly, in life we may not be able to remove some of the negative events of the past or some problematic situations (salt), but the more positives we can add to our life (fresh water), the less we focus only on the negative.” explains the expert.
Put yogurt to reduce inflammation
In the same vein, the psychologist takes “the example of yogurt to alleviate gastric inflammation caused by spicy foods”. According to her, bringing gentleness into one’s existence helps to better accept certain difficult situations.
Taking a vacation, redecorating your home or changing jobs can therefore represent a breath of fresh air at a tense time in your life.
Search for gold dust
Still in the same idea, the psychologist recognizes that sometimes, life resembles a dirty and muddy torrent.But it is possible to find gold flakes in this environment.” she recalls. “These little sparks won’t solve everything, immediately or spontaneously, but adding a few small peaceful moments can bring some momentary comfort.“.
Taking breaks on a difficult journey
Focusing on the negative events in one’s life often leads to rumination, comparing oneself to others, warns Sandra Wartski. To get out of this spiral, she uses a bus ride as a comparison, which she describes as bitter because of the hardships experienced.We may be on the bitter bus for a bit, but finding ways to take breaks at designated stops will help provide some perspective and a much-needed break.”
This does not mean that you should not be angry, or deny this feeling. But taking time out allows you to have more perspective on the situation, in order to get through it as calmly as possible.
Feel good in your body, feel good in your head!
Find a “rainbow” nearby
“When you need a quick change of perspective or mindset, in a difficult moment, you can do this simple, mindful activity: find a rainbow, naming at least five colored objects in your field of vision, to break the cycle of negativity you feel, at least for a few moments.” recommends the expert. Paying attention to bright and pleasant colors does not naturally remove all the frustration, stress or sadness felt, “but it can temporarily distract and stimulate a new way of seeing things” she concluded.
Slideshow: 30 quotes to stay positive