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A change is coming to your life, but instead of fighting for it or being excited, you find yourself at a standstill, totally frozen by doubt. You may have metathesiophobia, otherwise known as Possum Syndrome.
You don’t like changes, or let’s say they stress you out, even when it’s good news. In reaction, you don’t do anything anymore, for fear of doing it wrong (instead of acting accordingly). Does this speak to you? Well know that you react like “an opossum”.
What is opossum syndrome?
When it feels threatened, this small mammal has a formidable (but not very courageous) technique: it plays dead. The opossum syndrome, mentioned this week in a new book written by coach Yoann Lemeni, details the same mechanism in certain people: faced with a potential change, which you consider despite yourself as a threat to your daily life, you remain frozen. by the fear of change, which is also called metathesiophobia (but “possum syndrome” is easier to remember!).
4 signs that you are affected by this syndrome
How do you know if you are affected by this curious syndrome? In his “notebook”, Yoann Lemeni mentions 4 signs that are unmistakable.
- You repeat “you have to”, but never act. “I have to retrain in my work”, “I have to get back to sport“... These phrases have been circulating for months, but nothing has been done in this direction;
- You have feeling stagnant in your lifeand the results of the past years distress you;
- You hang around for a long time persistent problemswithout resolving them;
- The future worries you in general.
A syndrome that sets in because of cognitive biases
Each of us develops cognitive biases, that is, falsely logical thought patterns. But in the case of possum syndrome, these are biases that no longer allow you to move forward and that make us give up in the face of change. In his book, the coach details several of them:
- A loss aversion bias: you only see the future through the fear of losing what you have;
- Negativity bias: when you give more importance to criticism than praise, which harms your self-confidence;
- A self-prophecy bias: when you repeat to yourself over and over “I’m not going to succeed”;
- A self-indulgence bias: when you succeed, it’s because of you and your skills. When you fail, it is the fault of an external factor;
- Confirmation bias: when you only pay attention to information, news and statistics that support your prejudices.
Good in his body, good in his head!
Fortunately, this syndrome, which is not a mental disorder, is not irreversible either. According to the coach, there is indeed a way to cope with changes, without feeling any more fear (and finally act as you wish). It starts above all by identifying what is causing you problems, but with sincerity:
“For example, we can often hear ourselves say: ‘I never have time to do what I want.’ Stated like this, the sentence does not specify the precise activities that I do not have the time to do. time to do or what constraints prevent me from having time Is it a problem of time management, priorities, or external obligations? In short, poor definition of the problem can lead to ineffective solutions? and heightened frustration.”
- So you need summarize the problem in a few sentences to highlight it, then detail it: who are the main actors involved? What facts are undeniable and factual? What suggestions did you make? What is your role in all this? What are your actions or inactions? What interactions can you observe? These questions aim to draw out what really paralyzes you;
- It is then necessary think about the future. And allow ourselves to dream about the future and the projects that we would really like. Get to the bottom of things by detailing in black and white what would help you and what could prevent it from happening. And take stock: are these real obstacles or limiting thoughts?
- Finally, try to replace your way of thinking. As soon as a “yes, but…” comes to mind, replace it with a “yes, and?” which will force you to find a solution. With a little practice, you shouldn’t see much bonding with the little marsupial anymore.
Slide: 30 positive quotes