At first glance, blackmail may seem easier to get your child to obey quickly, but in the long term, it may not be a good idea. Here’s how to change that with these two magic words.
All parents have already succumbed to the easy option by “bargaining” with their child to quickly obtain what they expect from him. Branding a threat or blackmail may, in fact, appear more effective, but it can prove counterproductive in the long term. To replace this method, here is what you can tell your child.
Indeed, depriving the child of something he likes or promising him a reward in exchange for what is asked of him sometimes seems to be the only solution for the toddler to comply. However, there is another technique that is much more respectful and beneficial for your child’s education. Although it can be used occasionally, blackmail and threats should not become a habit, because by responding to them, the child sends the wrong message. He obeys in order to have a reward or not to be deprived of his favorite cartoon for example. By dealing with this type of situation, your toddler could end up no longer taking you seriously or simply no longer trusting you. To change your educational method, you will see, it is very simple.
Rather than starting your sentence with: “If you…, then…”, you just need to use two very simple little words. This method proposed by Jean-François Belmonte, owner of the account @papapositivefr, is ideal for banishing blackmail from your education. Using the terms “as soon as” instead of “if you”, you will empower your child in a caring way. Concretely, instead of saying “If you don’t clean your room right away, you won’t go outside to play.”you can say “As soon as you clean your room, you can play outside.”
This little effort on your part will allow your child to understand the principle of consequences following their actions. This will prevent you from always being in opposition to him, and will allow you to make yourself heard without raising your voice. It should be remembered that blackmail is a kind of manipulation, so it can encourage the child to do the same through imitation.