Published on
updated on
Reading 3 min.
in collaboration with
Johanna Rozenblum (clinical psychologist)
On the bill since August 14, the film “Nevermore,” based on the eponymous book by Colleen Hoover, was one of the most anticipated of the summer. But its delicate subject, on domestic violence, has given rise to some controversy. Our psychologist explains the problem to us.
It was the anticipated film of this August. Never again(It ends with us in the original version) promised as much emotion as the original book, written by Colleen Hoover (4th best-seller in France last year) had given. However, the subject addressed, domestic violence, caused some understandable turmoil, for two reasons.
A story based on domestic violence
The story (without spoilers) is based on a toxic love story. Lily Bloom, the heroine, played by Blake Lively in the film, is a young woman who grew up in a violent home, with an alcoholic father. She therefore knows what it’s like to live with a violent partner. But when she meets the perfect man, a charming and ambitious neurosurgeon, and above all in love a few years later, she doesn’t expect to reproduce the pattern experienced by her mother. However, this man has a flaw, he loses his nerves (following a traumatic event) and hits her. The whole story is to know how Lily will be able to manage and put an end to this spiral.
With such a strong theme, inspired by her own family history, the author had thus touched many readers (more than 1.2 million in 2023). The controversy had also swelled: the book was accused of offering a fantasized version of “the male toxicity that it was nevertheless trying to combat” by glorifying “a dangerous man”.
If the Hollywood poster promised to stay true to the theme, the first hiccup this time occurred on the red carpet and during the promotion of the film. The reason? The attitude of the main actress Blake Lively (seen in Gossip Girl) who does not seem to have understood the extent of the subject she was carrying. On the microphones, no committed speech or feminist warning, but a very “girly” promotion as criticized by Internet users.
In a sequence shared thousands of times, the star encouraged her fans to “call (their) girlfriends and dress in (their) most beautiful floral dresses” to see her film (the heroine is a florist). A nod to the promotional campaign of Barbie who had encouraged the public to come see the film dressed in pink. On Instagram, the actress also took advantage of the spotlight to promote her alcohol brand Betty Buzz and her beauty products between two messages about her film. Not really the expected message… The actress has since made up for it by publishing a message criticizing domestic violence, a little late.
A fantasy vision of violence in films
The other problem, which had already been perceived when the book came out, is this way of telling the story of violence in a work or a film, based on a watered-down love story.
A common mistake according to Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist who explains the gap between fantasy and reality.In these works we often suggest that everything begins with a passionate love story which degenerates. What is false in violent couples, and in men narcissists hyper controlling.”
So the first phase of love and honeymoon described does not exist.”In reality, this is what is called the love bombing. When the other manages to arouse infinite love, by becoming the ideal providential man. But it is never a man who is extremely in love who becomes violent. In reality, it is a man who monopolizes a woman thanks to “lures” to better control her.
In short, don’t be fooled if you enjoy these books or works. Movies often give the impression of a man in love, who flips, and spirals, for a reason.In reality, this is not how it happens,” reminds our shrink.
Slideshow: Couple: how do you become controlled by a narcissistic pervert?