I have not always heard of it. No no.
Growing up, I had no relationship with summer cottage life at all. I only knew that it arose after the end of the summer in June and died out just in time for the start of school in August. A parenthesis in the time that seemed to swallow children, they just disappeared and left the farm swings empty. The summers we did not go abroad to visit relatives, I stayed there. In the yard. It was nice anyway, I got all the common currant bushes and the fruit from all the plum trees for myself.
But where did all the children go? The summer cottage never had an address. It was just the “cottage” in short. I could imagine it was a dreamy place. When the classmates reported their long leave, it sang about the teachers’ reactions “yyyy so cozy”, “no, so hääärligt”.
No one ever bid with me to his summer house. As unthinkable as a trip to the moon, I never even reflected on the potential possibility. So no, I did not feel left out. Just so attans curious.
A few years ago, it turned out that there were more than me who thought about summer cottage life. The discussion about the farm as a phenomenon burst into full bloom, in it were heard the voices of many who, just like me, did not have access to their own little summer paradise.
It sounded like a secret had been revealed, the discovery of a treasure hidden from the less privileged.
“What! Is that where you have kept house every summer? You have had all this wonderful for yourself and you have skimped on it! ”
I agreed. Why was I never invited? What a scandal! That’s how I started thinking as an adult. So upset that in spite of that, I decided to buy my own place. We saved, scouted and found a renovation object when the prices of holiday homes were still affordable.
The most important thing for us was that there was a lot of space. People could come to us. Preferably all the time, “we do not want to sit and breed ourselves all summer, come, just come!”
I would not be the one, one who excluded friends who got stuck in town because they did not own their own summer house.
The pride that it meant to have this place. I had managed to buy myself a tiny piece of the delicious cake that Sweden is when Sweden is at its best. It was big. And people came out. They started hanging out with us. Relax.
I was so happy. The whole first summer I enjoyed the visits. The second summer I got tired of doing the dishes. The third was sown a seed of irritation that grew larger over time.
“You should not relax SO much anyway ?!”
Our little oasis had been transformed into an all-inclusive hotel business.
“Is there anything vegetarian too?”
“Where’s the coffee?”
“Dude, we’re sleeping here another night!”
Our little oasis had been transformed into an all-inclusive hotel business
I saw myself from the outside at one point. Me and three children, the sweat lacquered in the heat and my husband went away to buy milk – while the guests remained. They could have bought with a liter on the road. Or maybe offered to go shopping instead. But not.
I have learned that it is rude of hosts to demand anything from their guests. But it is also where and when it happens. In the ambiguity about what is expected of the host and guest as the host risks becoming it. One who is not generous with his summer place. I would argue that it is not about stinginess, but rather about being faced with a tricky choice: Should one spend one’s time making it cozy for others during their holiday at the expense of one’s own?
But there are ways to get around this. It starts with a checklist. Please enjoy!
Things to think about for the guest:
Are you coming by? Buy with coffee, maybe a liter of milk.
Do you stay for several days? Ask for a list of what you can trade with you. (Many farms are far from shops).
Join in cooking, if not, help to set the table or do the dishes.
Are there children on site? Do not forget them. Think boules rather than beer during the day.
Bring your own sheets and towels.
Do not get stressed if you notice that the host has difficulty sitting still. Maintenance of holiday homes is demanding. Offer to help with something small. Maybe cut a bush or paint a strip.
Things to think about for values:
Be clear. What is the plan for the days when your guests are visiting?
Do not be afraid to ask for help – but do not invite friends just to get free labor.
With all that said: Invite! And let the time in the cottage be pleasant and restful for everyone. Have a nice summer!
Read more chronicles by Nadia Jebril:
I never thought the countryside would change me like that
Paradise is closer than you think
There is something comforting about slicing a chicken