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Almost every parent has already been faced with a child who starts laughing when he is being scolded. We inevitably think that the child is making fun of us… In reality, the reason is quite different, according to child psychologist Marine Darnat-Wambèke.
Your child has just done something stupid: you start to lecture him and you realize that he is giggling… The scene is certainly well known to many parents, who can lose their composure and become more angry when faced with a laughing child.
This behavior is neither insolent nor provocative.
According to child psychologist Marine Darnat-Wambèke, who posts an Instagram video on the subject, parents can wrongly interpret this behavior. She explains that what we think is insolence or provocation is actually quite different: it is stress.
“Has this ever happened to you? You are scolding your child for doing something stupid and he starts laughing. No, your child is not making fun of you, your child is not being provocative, your child is stressed” she explains.
A brain reaction to stress that triggers laughter to calm down
No, a child who laughs when he is scolded is not laughing at the adult in front of him. “VSIt’s actually a reaction to stress, to an excess of cortisol in your brain. THE cortisol is the hormone linked to stress which makes the child laugh to calm down. He will laugh to relax. He will laugh to reassure himself, to calm down. Absolutely not to make fun of you” insists the expert. Because in reality, “the child is stressed and therefore does not know how to react in this situation.”
Learn to calm down before resuming the discussion
After having clearly explained the reasons that push a child to giggle while being scolded, the psychologist continues her video by giving her advice to parents faced with the situation, so that they do not become more angry.
“So try to get back down. If that’s not possible and you’re too upset, tell your child instead: “I’m going to go into the kitchen to drink a glass of water or take a walk in the garden or whatever you want because I have I need to calm down, we’ll see you later.”. It is therefore better to postpone the punishment, rather than to explode with anger.
On the other hand, it can be useful to verbalize it. “If you can, try to tone it down and calm down, to say – to your child – I see that you are stressed, I got angry but because I am very upset. anger. We can explain in words, trying to find a calm tone, calm down together and then be able to move on.” recommends the psychologist. A way to defuse the situation, as calmly as possible.
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