Fear of the dark is common among children who imagine being in the presence of monsters and wolves hiding under the bed. To reassure them and help them fall asleep, here are some tips.
At what age are children afraid of the dark?
It’s usually between 2 and 5 years that the first fears appear in the child. And when night comes, at bedtime, your little one starts to panic, imagining monsters in his room, hiding under the bed and ready to appear as soon as his eyes are closed. Worse still: wolves are sleeping in the closet, and may wake up when you leave the room. It is therefore impossible for your child to sleep until he feels safe. Especially since these completely normal fears “will not disappear overnight, but very gradually over the months“, explains Professor Marcel Rufo in his book “Raising your child“, in the Hachette 2015 edition. So, to help him get to sleep, here are 5 ways to reassure him.
1 – Avoid total darkness
Children are afraid of the dark, so don’t put them in the dark! “Simple arrangements will help him overcome his fear of the dark: a night light, the door ajar on the lit corridor and a good cozy and protective bear are usually enough.“, advises Marcel Rufo.
2 – Encourage him to confide his fears
Listen and ask him to put into words what scares him. He will see that you take him seriously and when he tells you that the witches are hiding in the cupboard, you can in turn prove to him that they are not there. Start by checking his room for all the places he thinks might harbor monsters, ferocious beasts and wizards. Open the closet, look under the bed saying “You see, there is nothing!“But it is essential to accompany this process with an explanation:”wizards and monsters only exist in books, tigers only live in the jungle and you are safe in your room“. In his book, Marcel Rufo also advises helping him to tame his surroundings: “You can teach him to look at night, recognize his surroundings and take him hand in hand for a night walk through the house, if necessary with a flashlight“.
3 – Remain available, if needed
After reassuring and calming him down a bit, your child needs to know that mom or dad will be right next door in the living room. A way for him to feel protected when he starts to close his eyes and to feel your presence, just in case.
4 – Read him a positive story before sleeping
Children love having bedtime stories read to them. But there’s no question of telling him stories of monsters and witches, unless it’s a book in which the child manages to overcome his fears. Otherwise, choose a rather happy and positive tale in order to focus his attention on something else. You can also leave him a little music before saying goodnight…
5 – Give him self-confidence
Is your little boy afraid of the dark? However, he is big and he is much stronger than wolves! Besides, he says it himself sometimes: he is as muscular as his favorite heroes. Iron Man, Spider Man or even Batman wouldn’t be afraid of anything! Also make him aware that in normal times he is very brave, much more than you were when you were his age since you were afraid of riding a bike and falling, while he manages to ride on two wheels and to take bumps! In other words, you’re proud of him. Giving him back his self-confidence is also a way of reassuring him.