Published on
Updated
Reading 2 min.
The “monkey-barring” illustrates the couple relationships that certain people have. Motivated by fear of celibacy, this particular concept is at the origin of toxic behaviors. Doctissimo tells you more.
To illustrate what “monkey-barring” is, nothing could be simpler: just imagine the movement of a monkey, from branch to branch, only letting go of the previous one once the next one has been caught. This “double security” reflects the romantic reality of certain people, who are involved in several relationships at the same time.
Toxic behavior linked to fear of celibacy
How to explain this toxic behavior in love? People who maintain this type of relationship would be motivated by the fear of celibacy and of starting a new story from the very beginning, in case of failure. Seeing several people simultaneously allows them to continue a story, while meeting new people and projecting themselves with them.
Multiple relationships but no commitment
In this type of relationship, the person therefore sees different people but does not formally commit to any of them. According to Hayley Quinn, a relationship expert interviewed by the newspaper Metrothis way of doing things makes it possible to multiply relationships: “If you’re not sure whether a relationship is for you, there can be a huge temptation to explore another, while keeping your existing relationship afloat before jumping“.
These individuals choose to maintain a connection with a person who does not fully satisfy them, while exploring other relationships. An illustration of the fear of commitment, according to the expert. ““Beginning to quietly see other people means that you are not fully emotionally open to your existing relationship, or to the idea of committing to one.” she indicates.
Don’t underestimate your own worth!
If you notice that your new relationship still maintains close ties with another person, you absolutely must talk about it openly with him or her and not let the situation take hold and persist. Because being a sort of “second choice” can be particularly devastating for one’s self-esteem.
For Hayley Quinn, we must not hesitate to “explicitly state your expectations regarding the relationship”. Before concluding on an essential point: “Never forget your self-worth.”
Slide: Narcissistic pervert: 10 signs that should alert you