There is “thank you” and “thank you”. Like “hello” and “hello”. The cheerful, smiling and enthusiastic hello, like the warm, spontaneous and frank thank you. The best in this area is hummed by the singer Dido: “And I want to thank you/For giving me the best day of my life/Oh, just to be with you is having the best day of my life.” Everyone dreams of hearing it said. In the world of work, it is the morning smile and the little word of gratitude that we teach children so early and which can be said, repeated, re-said: thank you, just because the other person held the door . There are so many others in “thank you” mode: for the file, for the coffee, for your encouragement, for having repaired the computer, for having accepted that I leave an hour early, for this promotion, to help me, to listen to me, for this contact… Conversely, grimacing, threatening and imperative knowledge, whispered from the lips or sometimes shouted is often written on the screen in XXL capitals (” THANK YOU for arriving on time”) accompanied by a cold welcome. Why is this simple gratitude often non-existent?
“We wrongly believe that this questioning of the interest and nobility of work is recent. We are very wrong. The word work itself comes from the Latin tripalium which means torture and even one of the worst tortures imaginable, reserved for fugitive slaves crucified on three stakes. Nothing is more recent than the recognition of work”, analyzes François Bayrou, former minister and high commissioner for planning in the introduction to the note “The great transformation of work: crisis of recognition and the meaning of work” (October 12, 2023).
The best example of an employee who suffers ingratitude is the manager: 26% have difficulty reconciling the demands of the hierarchy and those of their colleagues and 23% consider their isolation (between their hierarchy and their team) to be a difficulty. In addition, among the aspects of their role that bring the most satisfaction to managers, relationships with employees come first (83%), followed by recognition from the team (79%, Alan/Harris Interactive – “Mental well-being barometer”, April 2023). Say thank you to your manager? He appreciates.
Furthermore, in 2018, 51% of employees felt that their work was “not recognized for its true value” and 8 out of 10 workers would not advise a young person to work in the same company all their life (“C’” Barometer is my job”, Odoxa/Dentsu, April 2018). In addition, only 7% of French employees (13% of Europeans) are “engaged” – in the sense of involved – in their work (“State of the global workplace”, Gallup, 2023). This figure “does not reflect the laziness of a people”, affirms François Bayrou. Americans and Canadians have a 31% engagement rate according to Gallup, with thanks embedded in their culture, which annoys us a little. In France, “questions of recognition no longer appear to respond to the legitimate aspirations of those who embark on a career,” insists the High Commissioner for Planning.
Symmetry of attention
“It is not with thanks that we change a company, it is often said. However, caregivers were applauded every evening at 8 p.m. in 2020, during the pandemic. They had to hold on and we expressed our gratitude to them”, indicates Doctor Philippe Rodet, (Kindness, source of hope, Eyrolles, 2024). The Covid episode is a “catalyst” which revealed other aspirations, confirms François Bayrou. How to re-motivate? By thinking about the managerial mode. One avenue: that of “symmetry of attention”, according to which the quality of the relationship between the employer and its employees influences that which it maintains with its customers. A “give and take” highlighted by Vineet Nayar, CEO of HCL Technologies, creator of the Employees First, Customers Second method (2010).
Magical thinking in a world of Care Bears? For Benoît Meyronin and Charles Ditandy, followers of this ambitious and rigorous managerial mode, it does not prevent them from “reframing a collaborator and saying things to each other when there is a concern” (“The symmetry of attention, ambition or utopia? “, L’Expansion Management Review, L’Express Roularta, 2014/3). These experts believe that “the symmetry of attention raises the fundamental question of trust. Trust in management which is itself the bearer of behavioral change”. The thank you will finally be spontaneous.