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Reading 4 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical Psychologist)
This weekend, Manon and Julien Tanti, a couple of influencers from reality TV, made the web react with the images of the extraordinary birthday party organized for their little girl who is only 4 years old. What do you think?
A life-size princess castle, inflatable games, a cocktail bar, a photobooth and… lots of photos on social media! Last Thursday, the Tanti family, known from the reality TV show Les Marseillais, had a great time. For their little Angelina’s 4th birthday, they didn’t skimp on the means. On Instagram, the photos are scrolling, revealing a dream party, worthy of American films, between wonder and opulence.
Influencers compete in excess
The Tanti are not the first or the only ones to throw an outrageous birthday party for their child: Nabilla did the same in 2023 for her son, and images regularly circulate on the accounts of influencers around the world. The event, however, is far from unanimous: between desire and concern for the development of children, the comments are not tender. And mostly target an inappropriate party for such a young child. But what is the reality? Are they right to take advantage of their means (and too bad for those they call “angry”), or is it harmful to the child at stake? We asked Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist, for her opinion.
An event more beneficial to adults
For our expert, behind the sincere interest in celebrating their child’s birthday, there is an evening more for adults than for children and a desire to create a buzz.
“It’s hard not to see in these sumptuous celebrations a desire on the part of parents to shine through their children. It’s far from a simple children’s birthday party: it’s a show, a way to create buzz, to put oneself forward. In reality, these parents seem to be mainly enjoying themselves,” she analyzes.
More problematic for her (and the parents do not hide this) is the use of brands and sponsors, which is also part of the game.
“These parents use their child’s birthday as a promotional tool personal, a way of showing themselves in the best light to others. And when everything is broadcast on social networks, we fall into pure and simple exploitation: the child becomes an object of communication, a marketing tool”, she gets annoyed.
A private party that is no longer private
Especially since by exposing their child in this way, these parents forget an essential aspect of their role: protecting their child.”Photos and videos posted on social networks are not harmless. They expose children to various risks, from loss of privacy to cyberbullyingor even worse. We often forget that the child has not given his consent to this exposure, that he does not have the maturity to understand what it implies,” recalls the expert.
The risk of growing up jaded
Beyond the public display, there is also the message that these celebrations send to children about values. When everything is excessive, when grandeur and quantity take precedence over simplicity and authenticity, the child can easily get lost in this logic of overbidding.
“What is he being taught? That love and attention are measured by the size of the party or the value of the gifts? That to exist, one must be spectacular? It is an insidious slide towards materialistic values, which, if not counterbalanced by a solid education centered on human values, can lead to a profound imbalance,” regrets Amélie Boukhobza.
The added danger in the long run is that these children grow up with the idea that everything has to be exceptional to be appreciated. And they become “jaded,” always looking for more, a bigger spectacle, a greater excitement.But life doesn’t work like that. If you accustom a child from a young age to extravagant celebrations, you expose him to the risk of an incessant quest for the extraordinary, of a chronic dissatisfaction in the face of the simple pleasures of life.”
Not to mention that such grandiose parties can easily arouse jealousy in other children. The latter, not having the same means, can feel inferior or excluded, which can put the “privileged” child in a delicate position, creating distance, meanness and even isolation.
Compose a birthday around the child’s desires
The idea is therefore not to hold back, or to avoid pleasing the child. On the contrary, it is good to make this special day, something out of the ordinary and to celebrate this day with the child.
“But organizing a birthday party is not about creating an event worthy of a gala, it is above all a moment of sharing, love, simplicity. Involving the child in the organization, asking them what they want, composing the party around their desires and not the expectations of others… seems much better to me!” advises our expert. Treat yourself with a pretty decoration, a balloon arch if you want, close friends… and above all activities that please… your child, and not your followers!
Slideshow: 15 activities to liven up your child’s birthday party