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Some people don’t know how to say no. However, daring to express your feelings, your needs or your desires is essential for self-affirmation. How to learn to do it? The JEEPP method, which we will detail in this article, can help you.
For fear of disappointing, for fear of no longer being loved or to avoid an argument: the reasons given by those who cannot say no are numerous. However, it is important to know how to assert yourself and if you cannot do so, the JEEPP method can help you.
The JEEPP method, a five-point technique
First of all, to be able to assert yourself, you have to get out of certain patterns, which condition your way of functioning. For example, do not anticipate how the other will respond to your request. Sometimes it goes even further: we think that the other person will simply guess what we expect from him or her, without even telling them.
To properly apply this “assertive request” technique, we must therefore be in this state of mind, completely free from what others will think of us.
Then, the method is broken down as follows: JEEPP for I / Empathy / Emotions / Precise / Persistence. Five stages which are broken down as follows:
- J like I. Always start your request with an “I”: “I would like” or “I wish” for example, which immediately places you as the subject of the request;
- E for Empathy, essential to take into account the feelings of the person in front of you. “I understand that you are very busy today/ I imagine that you are tired, but I would like…”;
- E for Emotions, to share them with others. “It would relieve me / It would make me happy…”
- P for Precise because for any request, it is better to be direct rather than to hesitate. “I would like to invite friends to dinner / I would like to take a few days off to clear my mind”;
- P for Persistence, because in the absence of an answer, you must insist by repeating your question with empathy, always. “I understand that this bothers you, but I would really like to take these days off.”
Good in his body, good in his head!
A good way to be clear with yourself and others
By presenting things this way, it allows you to assert what you are entitled to, without trampling on others. This technique allows you to respect your needs and desires while expressing yourself frankly, without manipulation.
Not to mention that it helps to get away from the idea that it is necessary to always be kind to be a good person. We can finally ask for what we want, without feeling an ounce of guilt.
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