The 28-year-old was in contact with psychiatry for large parts of his upbringing, but neither psychologist, counselor nor relatives managed to perceive what was actually moving inside him. He never shared his fantasies about killing, and relatives have testified that there were no clear indications that he might actually carry out a murder, although they saw that he was in very bad shape.
Before the crime, he is not known to the police and when relatives are contacted by the fact that the suspicions of the murder are directed at the 28-year-old, they are shocked.
“Obviously it took a toll on me. It didn’t feel like it was true. I wondered what is going on,” says an acquaintance of the man during questioning.
Couldn’t find help from psychiatry
The perpetrator tells the police that the thoughts of killing have always been with him, but that during his upbringing it expressed itself in various obsessions. It was only when he started to feel really bad that he felt he crossed the line to actually be able to kill someone.
He says that he told psychologists about his dark thoughts but that the contact with BUP and other psychiatry was never of any help to him.
According to the man himself, the darkness in him really began to emerge after several failed suicide attempts.
“People have tried to kill themselves too, in the end when I realized that I couldn’t do it, I saw this as a way to get away from society.”
Need for control
The 28-year-old explains that he has had poor self-esteem and low self-confidence all his life. Killing someone therefore felt good, because he accomplished something not many others were able to do.
“It’s a lot to be in control. Power. Yes, a satisfaction to feel that you are good at something. Because I’ve felt bad all my life.”
In order to get an outlet for the need, he says that during his upbringing he tried to exercise control over younger people. Early on, he became interested in sex, and on several occasions he forced girls, usually classmates, into sexual acts, he states.
After watching a documentary about Richard Ramirez, he says he adopted the serial killer’s view of evil.
“He believes in evil, that it exists in people. Human nature. That there is a meaning to being evil,” says the 28-year-old.
When asked if he himself is evil, he replies that “I know I am.”
“Now I know who I am”
According to his own statement, since the murder, he has stopped feeling empathy and has “let loose” the evil. The only people he cares about are his immediate family:
“My family is the only thing that makes me feel human,” he explains.
The man says in police questioning that he has always had a hard time with emotions, but that a growing hatred of ordinary people has been awakened in him over the years.
“I guess I’ve always known that I’ve had it inside me. Just the dark side. Tried to check it and so.”
Now he has stopped exerting control over his feelings and thoughts – he has become comfortable with who he is and feels that he can now speak freely.
“That’s who I am. I’ve been in denial all my life. That has probably been the biggest problem. But now I know who I am.”
The trial against the man begins in Jönköping District Court on Wednesday, January 8.