Nothing can prepare you for how to react when someone in your life passes away. Especially when you can be anything from sad, ashamed and pissed off during your grieving process.
News24 have been talking to Victoria Milosevskasenior physician in psychiatry, who believes that people who themselves have not had to mourn the death of a friend or family member do not understand that grief expresses itself in different ways.
– You have certain expectations created by misinformation about what grief entails. Many people think that you can only be sad, she says.
DO NOT MISS: The expert: You shouldn’t say that to someone who is grieving
Three different grieving processes
During her professional life, Viktorija Milosevska, who runs Calmego psychiatry, has met many people who need psychiatric care after the death of a close relative.
The reason is that a large percentage of people struggle with depression or other psychological problems during their grieving process.
Although many people are affected by grief, there are three common reactions that are very different from each other.
According to Viktorija Milosevska, it is about “freeze”, which indicates that the person is paralyzed by sadness, “flight”, where the person often escapes into work and other distractions, and “fight”, which is characterized by facing one’s feelings instead of escape.
Viktorija Milosevska believes that the reaction is based both on personality and previous events in one’s life.
– It can happen to anyone. When someone passes away, you react based on your previous experiences and personality, she says.
“When someone passes away, you react based on your previous experiences,” says Viktorija Milosevska. Photo: Henrik Montgomery/TT
DO NOT MISS: Bad pension? How to reduce anxiety about the economy: “Difficult”
“Many people think that you can only be sad”
So there is no way to react when someone dies. At least that’s what Viktorija Milosevska thinks, who tells Nyheter24 that the void left by a deceased relative can also create anger or a guilty conscience.
– You have certain expectations created by misinformation about what grief entails. Many people think that you can only be sad, she says and continues:
– You can be angry because you lose someone. You can be sad. You can be frustrated when you meet others who don’t really understand. Some struggle with their own feelings and take it out on those around them.
Viktorija Milosevska believes that it is completely normal to struggle with several emotions when grieving. It’s okay to be sad, but also not to be.
– Own your feelings. It must be hard sometimes. We must remember that we are human.
“Own your feelings,” says psychiatrist Viktorija Milosevska. Photo: Fredrik Sandberg/TT
READ MORE:
Pensioner? How to deal with loneliness: “The phone doesn’t ring”
Pensioner? This is how fraudsters trick you out of money
Exposed of fraud? Don’t forget to do this