She instantly disarms someone who criticizes or provokes you.
You are in full conversation and suddenly a derogatory remark of your interlocutor causes you a feeling of discomfort and hurts you. It can be a negative commentary by someone from your family, a criticism from a friend or even a passive-aggressive sentence of a colleague or a boss. The first reflex would be to counterattack, answer from the tac to the tac or turn you. Instead, a simple sentence can help you keep control and instantly disarm someone who criticizes or causes you.
“”Concretely, this formulation allows three things: it gives you time to regulate your emotions so as not to answer impulsively and to be drawn into a potential argument, it modifies the dynamics of exchange and it leads the other person to think about her words“, explains Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein, psychologist and author. This sentence creates a real mental break, giving you the opportunity and the time to manage your emotions and decide how you want to react to criticism.
For example, if your mother-in-law judges the way you educate your children, if your manager criticizes how you manage your deadlines or if your friend questions your personal project, the famous sentence to say is as follows: “It’s interesting, can you tell me what you mean?“. Why does it work for sure?”Because the interlocutor, slightly taken aback, will only have any choice to reconsider the tone on which he said his criticism, to develop his point of view, to assume his opinion or simply to be silent“, Specifies the expert in conflicts in a column published on the magazine Psychology Today. You are no longer a prisoner of a vicious circle where the defensive reigns and you will be surprised to see how calm and master of the situation.
The next time someone criticizes you or makes an unpleasant remark, remember not to close the dialogue. “”Reacting with curiosity and maturity is always more powerful than reacting in emotion“Concludes the expert.