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The first weeks of school have passed but every time you ask your child about his friends, he tells you that he doesn’t have any. How can I help him? An expert shows you the procedure to follow.
All parents care about the development of their child. And the latter involves having friends, particularly (and especially) at school. But sometimes, some children have difficulty making friends. How can you intervene as a parent to help them?
Give a helping hand, but no more
In an article for CNBCDr. Sarah Clark, a research scientist in the department of pediatrics at the University of Michigan, concedes that it is difficult to see your child sad or unhappy because of this. “The instinct to help him make friends is normal.” she believes. “However, you must be careful about your intervention.” She thus reminds us that some parents, in wanting to help, actually go too far. “You need to make things easier for your child, but not take over!”
It is essential to stay in the right measure
To help your child without overdoing it, the expert offers two pieces of advice. The first is to bring your child near other children. “Take him to play in a busy park or make friends with a parent who will have a child the same age as yours.” she advises. “This makes it possible to plan meetings, so that the children can play”. In fact, the more your child has access to children his age, the more comfortable he will be socializing with them.
On the other hand, make sure that the setting matches your child’s personality. “A crowded park will not be the best option for a shy child, who will tend to retreat when faced with a large number of children.. Instead, you can opt for a less crowded place or enroll your child in a small group activity.
The other important point, for the expert, is to put the children in contact, then let them play. “The parent has to take a step but afterwards it is important that they let the children decide to what extent they want to play with each other.”
Show your child what being a good friend means
It’s well known: children imitate our behavior. It is therefore by seeing you act as a friend that he will begin to imitate this behavior. “A good friend thinks about the other person’s feelings and does small things to help them.” recalls Dr. Clark.
“Show your children how you help your friend at the supermarket, when their shopping bag has spilled… These are small things that parents can do. Not forgetting to verbalize it by saying that ‘It’s part of being a good friend’ adds the expert. “Recalling times when someone was a good friend to you can also help your child.” she advises again.
In short, the hardest thing is not to intervene if your child fails to become friends with another child, at the park or elsewhere. “Sometimes parents are so involved that they don’t create space for their children to learn how to make a friend, how to be a friend, and how to develop social skills.” explains the specialist again.
“But if you constantly intervene, it will be difficult for your child to form a friendship. Sometimes you have to let things happen, and that includes if a child gets angry with yours or doesn’t want to play with them anymore “It’s difficult, but you have to let your child confront this.”she adds. “You can bring them together to become potential friends, but not force a friendship” she concludes.
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