Every evening, before her electrician husband returns, Estee Williams gets dolled up. She puts on earrings, a tiara, a touch of perfume… To hear her say, it’s the highlight of her day after cleaning, shopping and cooking small dishes. This 26-year-old platinum blonde with the look of Marilyn Monroe, who loves vintage floral dresses, is a “Tradwife” – a traditional wife.
This movement of young women, most of them white and often practicing Christians, extols the virtues of the 1950s housewife, glorifies domestic tasks, and promotes submission to the husband. “I put my husband’s wants before my own and it has benefited me and my marriage,” says Estee Williams. She chose this life, she says, because it is “simpler” than that of her divorced mother who juggled family and work.
She is not the first to advocate the housewife. What’s new is that these “traditional” brides are using social networks to show their existence as a desirable choice. Estee Williams on TikTok dances while beating eggs and shows off her apron collection. However, we never see her doing the dishes or scrubbing the toilets. Nara Smith, another celebrity, is known for her videos in which she makes her husband’s breakfast cornflakes herself, in white silk pajamas, with impeccably made-up. As for his cheese sandwich, the bread and mozzarella are, of course, homemade.
Hannah Neeleman chronicles her idyllic existence on a farm in Utah with her eight children. But the millions of people who follow her on social networks are not all fans judging by the bittersweet messages. They accuse him in particular of hypocrisy. The former ballerina does not mention that she is married to the heir of a large fortune, which undoubtedly provides her with some help. “It’s ironic to call yourself a ‘tradwife’ when they are businesswomen. They work full time to make their videos, their promotion and some earn a lot of money”, analyzes Elizabeth Velez, specialist in women’s studies at Georgetown University.
Obviously critics denounce this retrograde conception of the wife and this romantic vision of the 1950s. They also point out that few couples can afford to live on one salary. And many are worried about the political recovery by conservatives who advocate a return to white, Christian America, without abortion or gay marriage… “They are exploited like pawns of the right, taking up extremist views which they wrap in “ostensibly more acceptable packaging,” observes Jacqueline Beatty, professor of history at York College of Pennsylvania.
“Women are excited about marriage.”
Harrison Butker, an American football player from this religious right, recently amplified the controversy. Invited to give a speech at the graduation of a small Catholic college in Kansas, he attacked abortion rights, LGBTQ and told students: “Some of you may go on to successful careers in the world, but I venture to say that the majority of you are more excited about marriage and children. Which sparked a lot of criticism, including from the nuns in charge of the university. “One of our concerns is the idea that being a housewife represents a woman’s highest calling,” they wrote. Many of our students have made “a huge difference in the world…in terms of leadership, scholarship and careers.”
The phenomenon of “traditional” wives undoubtedly remains marginal, but it reflects a disenchantment among young people. It’s less an anti-MLF reaction than a “failure of the system,” continues Elizabeth Velez. There is no family support here, nurseries cost as much as university. The life of working mothers is so difficult that they look for other role models.” As for Estee, her foray into social networks has, she admits, added a little “spice” to her existence.