During school holidays, there is no need to enroll children in the daycare center or hire a nanny; grandparents are happy to be there. But the latter, sometimes overly solicited by young parents, are more and more numerous to express their fed up! Testimonials.
Many French grandparents look after their grandchildren during school holidays, especially in the summer. This is good for young parents, who do not always have the means to use a childcare solution, and often have little time off to look after the children at home. Sometimes, they also ask them to take the little ones to school, pick them up or accompany them to sports and cultural activities on Wednesdays. Result: those who thought they would relax and travel in retirement often find themselves “forced” to follow a very specific calendar and schedules, even if it remains a pleasure for them to watch their grandchildren grow up. The latter sometimes feel prisoners of this new role of “nanny”, not always knowing how to say no to their children.
Indeed, if they generally agree willingly to the exercise when it remains punctual, difficulties loom when this role of substitute nanny ends up becoming invasive. A Wednesday from time to time still passes. But every day, certainly not! This is exactly what Maryse, grandmother of two little boys, is experiencing.”When my daughter told me she didn’t have a nanny for the start of the school year, I immediately agreed to help her out. But I thought it would be a matter of a month or two. And it finally continued until June…“, she tells us. As a young retiree, Maryse hoped to take advantage of this new freedom to indulge her passions. But she quickly took on the role of taxi. “In addition to looking after the youngest several afternoons a week, I also look after the eldest on Wednesdays and take him to his various activities…“As a result, the grandmother has the impression of having a full-time job! And you only need to pop your head into a sports club or a music conservatory on Wednesday to see that gray heads are legion.
From now on, for these modern grandparents, it is no longer a question of picking up the children with a pain au chocolat after school, but also of participating daily in their awakening, sometimes to the detriment of their balance. Like Maryse, an Internet user deplores the Journal des Femmes forum a situation that completely escaped him. “I can’t take it anymore and my daughter doesn’t want to hear anything. I am no longer free from anything, confined to the house and going to pick them up from school, I am exhausted…“. Where parents have an educational role, grandparents play a role of transmission, listening and sharing, but they are not “double parents” as we sometimes hear.
However, it is difficult for young parents, themselves overwhelmed by daily life, to hear that they are asking too much of their own parents. Communication is then the key to avoiding falling into conflict and lastingly altering the links between the different members of the family.
These grandparents who provide!
One thing all these grandparents have in common: the unconditional love they have for their grandchildren… And for their children! Despite the fatigue, the tensions and the hiccups, everyone is delighted to share these precious moments with their little ones who give them a second youth. Everything is obviously a matter of dosage! But for some like Marie-Claire, a grandmother blessed with a 6 and a half year old little girl, being a grandparent is such a joy that they wouldn’t give up the Wednesday race for anything in the world; “I love my independence and I value it. But watching my little girl grow up is so precious that I always say “Yes” when my son asks me to watch her. These are forever irreplaceable moments for her and for me.“