‘I’m done keeping it a secret’: Sarnia woman speaks out about stepdad’s sex abuse

Editor’s note: The story contains details of sexual abuse that may be disturbing to some readers.

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For more than a decade, Hope Jordan felt like she had duct tape covering her mouth.

Amid fears of ripping her family apart and pressure from her mother to keep quiet, Jordan felt she couldn’t talk about the years of sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepdad, Ric Lahey, who was recently sentenced to seven years in prison .

But the tape has been ripped off now.

“I’m done keeping it a secret. I want to be able to tell my story and I want other people to be informed, because I believe others should know when there’s a predator living in their neighborhood,” Jordan said Friday.

Jordan, 24, was abused from age nine until she was a high school senior, according to an agreed statement of facts filed in court. She came forward to Sarnia police in the fall of 2022 and Lahey, a Sarnia resident who worked in Chemical Valley, turned himself in the following summer.

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Lahey, 49, pleaded guilty in late May to invitation to sexual touching, sexual exploitation, and two counts of sexual assault. His sentencing was adjourned to Sept. 18.

Little could be reported about the case in May because a publication ban protected Jordan’s identity, which is standard practice in most sexual assault cases in Ontario.

The Observer also does not identify victims of sex crimes in most instances as a matter of policy.

But in an eyebrow-raising move at the end of Lahey’s sentencing hearing just over two weeks ago, assistant Crown attorney Aniko Coughlan asked Justice Mark Poland to revoke the publication ban.

Jordan explained Friday she asked Coughlan to have the ban lifted and, though offered more time to think about it and the services of a lawyer, she persisted.

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Jordan, who struggled with her mental health for years due to the abuse but is doing better now with the help of her doctors and counselors, wants her story heard.

“There’s so many girls out there, too, who just don’t know that there is a better life out there. There is help and there are people who do care,” she said. “Because I know I felt so alone for so long and just felt like I had nobody, and that’s not true.”

The court heard the abuse started more than a decade ago when the family lived in Newfoundland. Jordan, 9, was struggling to fall asleep one night when Lahey came into her room, pulled back the covers and kissed her in an inappropriate area.

The abuse progressed from there as the family moved to different homes in Newfoundland, London and Sarnia and included sexual touching and oral sex.

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“I froze,” Jordan recalled Friday. “You would think I would kick, scream, bite, throw punches – I just froze. I think I was just in so much shock I couldn’t move a muscle.”

The abuse came to light about a decade ago when Jordan told friends at a London elementary school what was going on and social workers and the Children’s Aid Society became involved. But she didn’t go to police because she didn’t want to damage the family, court heard.

Jordan’s mother, Mel Lahey, was a key reason she didn’t tell police, she said Friday.

The family later moved to a trailer park near London, but one day Jordan refused to come home. She couch surfed and lived on the streets for a while until moving back to Newfoundland with family.

After a couple of years away, she was convinced to move back in with her mother and stepfather at their new home in Sarnia. Lahey tearfully apologized to her about what’d happened in the past and they agreed to put it behind them, court heard.

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Jordan said Friday she really believed him the first time he apologized. “He’s a really, really good liar, manipulator,” she said.

But the abuse started up again in Sarnia, including in their garage after a night of drinking and in a car in a Sarnia LCBO parking lot while Jordan’s boyfriend was in the store, court heard.

She told him to stop as she had a boyfriend and what was happening was weird.

“Thanks for not telling your mother,” Lahey said, according to the agreed statement of facts.

She went to Sarnia police soon after.

In court, Jordan spent nearly 20 minutes reading an emotional victim impact statement detailing how the sexual abuse and the fallout of her mom choosing Lahey over her has affected her. She’s struggled with eating disorders, alcoholism, and suicidal thoughts, she said.

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Jordan concluded with a poem.

“You are a very impressive writer, both in your poetry and in your prose. I was entirely impressed by the victim impact statement. It is without doubt one of the best that I’ve seen in more than 20 years in this court,” Poland told her.

Given a chance to address the court, Lahey briefly apologized to her.

“That apology was so fake,” Jordan said Friday. “I heard him apologize to me before. That was the most empty, fake apology I’ve ever heard from him in my life.”

Lahey’s lawyer, Jamie Guggisberg, said his client was abused by a babysitter and an uncle as a child – not an excuse, but context.

“Well, I’m not doing things to children,” Jordan said Friday. “I think that’s disgusting and I instead am in therapy and I’m learning how to love myself again and take care of me, because that was never done.”

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Poland said in court it was appalling Lahey continued sexually assaulting Jordan for several years after the abuse first came to light in London.

“It speaks to the moral bankruptcy of Mr. Lahey in victimizing this child,” he said.

Poland placed Lahey on the national sex offender registry for life because he was at increased risk of reoffending, he ruled. When he gets out of prison, he can’t be near places where kids under 16 could be, such as parks, playgrounds, pools and daycares. He also can’t be within two kilometers of Jordan.

While her stepdad is in prison, Jordan hopes he gets the therapy he needs and can be reformed, though she doubts this will happen.

As for herself, Jordan said for the first time she feels like she’s starting to live her life, and that she’s free.

“My mouth’s not covered in duct tape anymore,” she said.

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