Certain unconscious behaviors can make you a difficult person to get close to or become friends with. Here’s how to spot them.
Being friendly and sociable is not always enough to create bonds or make friends. With some people, communication is sometimes difficult, unpleasant, or even downright annoying, without them realizing it or really knowing why. To the point that we don’t really want to get close to them, even if they are polite and friendly at first. You may be one of them. That being said, certain signs can enlighten you. Spotting them is the first step towards change. Here are 5 attitudes that make you someone difficult to live with.
1. If you often find yourself at the center of stories or disagreements, ask yourself questions, as psychology and relationship expert Lachlan Brown suggests, Global English Editing. It’s no coincidence that you’re often at the center of conflicts: you can be the common denominator. This doesn’t make you a bad person, but rather implies that your approach to social interactions is wrong. If you don’t take responsibility for your part in the conflict, you’re making the situation worse. You have to know how to question yourself.
2. Being too hard on others can also be detrimental to you. Not showing empathy will prevent you from sharing with those around you. They will feel misunderstood or that you give them little importance. Being a good listener is a real quality, especially with active listening, which is a key element of communication.
3. Similarly, being overly critical is not going to help you build relationships. Being honest is certainly beneficial, but when it is all negativity, it will end up being a problem. This negativity is sometimes coupled with a tendency to victimize, which is also not favorable.
4. Another aspect that makes you unpleasant: resentment. If you are one of those people who cannot forgive, it can be difficult to get along with you. To err is human and never letting anything go will disrupt your relationships while forgiving is a sign of understanding. While you should not remain stuck in the past, it is also essential to know how to get out of your habits.
5. Being too conservative and resistant to change is a defect. People with whom it is difficult to create a bond are often reluctant to change and prefer their comfort zone. However, it is necessary to know how to adapt to maintain healthy relationships.
However, not all of these behaviors are necessarily conscious. You then do not have a good awareness of yourself and therefore of the consequences of your actions and this prevents you from getting closer to yourself again. It is a vicious circle from which you must first of all escape by remaining authentic but while recognizing your strengths and weaknesses.