Jasmin is known as Gnu and the biggest gaming YouTuber in Germany. MeinMMO editor-in-chief Leya met her at gamescom and in an interview with her talked about the reactions to Jasmin’s recently published book, in which she talks about her eating disorder for the first time. But also how she approaches her content on Twitch and YouTube.
At gamescom I get to know someone for the first time who I only knew behind the monitor before. In 2020, when the corona pandemic was still beginning, I spoke digitally to Gnu about sexism in the gaming industry.
At the time, I didn’t know that the young woman had been battling an eating disorder for years. She tells about this for the first time in her recently published book “You can’t do it”, which got under my skin while reading it.
That’s reason enough for me to meet Jasmin at gamescom and talk to her about her life after this soul striptease.
MeinMMO: How is it now in retrospect for you to have published the book and everyone knows that you were struggling with an eating disorder?
Jasmine: Back then, I often said to my manager and to Lisa Ludwig (co-author) that I was unsure whether I should do it. I spoke to her almost every day back then. The interesting thing is, I actually don’t have as much of a problem when people who don’t know me read it as when, for example, my partner’s parents read it now. That’s very funny.
But I think that nowadays it is even more important to address exactly such things. That there are problems and not everything is this perfect life that is presented on social media. I was just fed up with that.
The trigger for the book was when someone told me that everything about me was always so perfect and so boring. And I just thought to myself: If you only knew.
Then I got the offer for the book and I said why not. It’s a part of my life and this story brought me here. It gives people hope that no matter how bad things are going for them, they can still achieve something cool.
“I wanted to talk about the negative things in life”
MeinMMO: Why was now the right time for you to publish the book?
Jasmine: I used to always say I would never write a book. But now I’m some distance away from it. When the publisher approached me, I said that I would also like to talk about the negative things in life.
This “You can’t do it” and the solutions I found for myself. This guide of my life, what I could have done better. That’s what I would have wished for when I was 15.
Then I thought why not make something positive out of something negative. Now I’ve done this soul striptease and if it helps even one person, it’s worth it.
Leya: What were the general reactions to the book?
Jasmine: I was scared on the book tour. On the release day, I had already considered retiring completely for a few days and not looking at any reactions. In fact, there were already the first positive comments during the book tour, which made me very happy.
In fact, it’s always been positive. I haven’t received any negative comments about it. Now, of course, only people who know me read it.
Many thought they were alone with their problems and thanked me for bringing it up. I met another one earlier who told me that I described her problem exactly and that she now sees a solution for herself on how to deal with it.
I asked my manager if this would be the end of my career. I also don’t want to have this stamp if you have commented on problems that you are then confronted with again and again.
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“Honestly, the perfect life bores me”
MeinMMO: Is there a change taking place in the entire industry? In your book you describe how the perfect life is played out by influencers on Instagram. We all prefer to talk about successes, take the 100th selfie to see which angle is perfect and no pimple shows up. Is there currently a counter-movement and do you see yourself as part of it?
Jasmine: I think so. There are Instagram profiles like Dana Mercer’s that I really enjoy looking at. She has lost a lot of weight and shows her body as it is. She has no problem showing that she has cellulite and that there are rolls on her tummy when she sits. It shows that it is totally normal for skin to live and move. I think the trend is more and more towards many people showing their naturalness and humanity in public.
I think that’s important and to be honest, the perfect life bores me.
People want to have and see the Disney love, but that just doesn’t exist. The disappointment is all the greater when the image of the perfect life is destroyed. Now I’m glad I never set this up.
MeinMMO: If you switch to your stream, you can see that you burp or fart.
jasmine: (pretending to be shocked, laughing) What made you think of that?! It’s all just sound effects.
MeinMMO: Oh, so everything just played! Do you think it made it easier for you to publish a book like that? So that you got understanding for yourself and your person, because you’ve actually always presented yourself quite “normally”?
Jasmine: I think so. The only topic that was really difficult for me was the eating disorder. This is something I even told my best friend of many years just before the book was published.
That’s why the topic was so important to me. I now recognize when other people have it. There are a lot and nobody talks about it.
My eating disorder in particular is one in which one also says the quiet or secretive and I think that shouldn’t be secret.
“It’s always easier when something’s over”
MyMMO: This is actually one of the trends that we are observing. More and more stories keep coming up. Recently, for example, Kalle Koschinski, who has taken a break due to mental problems. Is that an issue that, in your opinion, happens too much behind closed doors?
Jasmine: I think that when it comes to burnout, more and more people dare to go public with it. I think it’s always easier when something’s over. My eating disorder is over. I don’t think I would have written a book about it if I had been in the middle of it.
MyMMO: Being a content creator often comes with a lot of pressure. We’ve had stories of people dying after marathon streams. What do you think about it?
Jasmine: I’ve been uploading videos regularly for years now and keep telling myself that one video HAS to come. It just looks nice on the channel and the community looks forward to a short video on Saturdays.
But in the end you have to learn to tell yourself that the world doesn’t end if there’s no video.
Leya: If one takes a closer look at you, one knows that you approach your work very analytically. How do you actually go about feeding the platforms’ algorithms?
jasmine: It’s difficult because it’s constantly changing. We also have regular meetings with my management and think about what’s trending right now, what can be made of certain games? Above all, what can you make unique out of it. Games are researched and ideas are developed for the community or initial ideas for video titles and thumbnails are already being collected.
Of course, when a hyped game comes along, like Among Us recently, you see: Ok, everyone is playing this right now. What can we do with it? what could be funny How can I use it to implement something that suits me? I really enjoy thinking about things like that.
That’s why you approach it so analytically, because you can never really assess the algorithm or other influences. In the summer, for example, we noticed that this was the first summer in which people were able to go out again without major restrictions, which in turn has an impact on the calls.
As content creators, we are all very dependent on the platforms and the algorithm: what is suggested? What is watched?
2 years after its release, Among Us is suddenly really blossoming – what is behind the indie hit?
“The biggest problem with all platforms is that it’s about quantity and not quality”
MeinMMO: What responsibility do you see here for platforms like Twitch?
Jasmine: The biggest problem with all platforms is that it is all about quantity and not quality. It is simply more attractive for creators to go to the masses and serve the fast, non-quality content.
Especially if that gets more views, why should I take more time and invest more money in a high-quality video? I think that’s the problem: more content, more trends, faster, better and the obsession with numbers. Is yesterday’s video better than today’s and why? It would be nice if that somehow changed. But to be honest, I don’t think that’s going to happen.
MeinMMO: In conclusion, would you like to say which projects you are currently working on?
Jasmine: As always gaming!
But my third channel is currently my new heart project, where I talk about things that are important to me personally.
Like a toxic self-perception thanks to social media or sports and how you can motivate yourself in a healthy way, also for reasons other than dieting. I would like to invest even more time in the future and expand it further.
MeinMMO: Thank you for the interview.
Jasmin is not the only gaming influencer who now speaks openly about the pressure of the job. More and more streamers are commenting on the problems on platforms like Twitch: One of the biggest Twitch streamers in the world explains why she wants to stream less