When they need it, many parents entrust their children to grandparents. While most are delighted to look after them, others deliberately refuse to take care of them. A bias that is not always well received. Testimony.
Grandparents often play a key role in childcare, providing valuable assistance to parents who are overwhelmed or who cannot afford to pay for a nanny or daycare. They are usually called upon on Wednesdays for extracurricular activities, some weekends, during school holidays, but also sometimes during the week to take or pick up children from school. A childcare solution that relieves parents and at the same time helps create strong intergenerational bonds. However, while most play this role willingly, some grandparents, on the contrary, refuse to make themselves available to look after their grandchildren. This is the case of an Australian grandmother who confided in Daily Life The Sydney Morning Herald.
“I’m a grandmother, not a childminder. I’ve done that before. As parents, a good portion of my life and my husband’s life have been devoted to raising our three children and neither of us wants to take on that level of responsibility again,” Avril Moore told the Australian media outlet. In her case, one of her children had asked if she could look after her grandchildren several days a week, while their parents were working. In principle, she explained that she loves spending time with her grandchildren, but that looking after them full-time is far too much work for her at her age. “I also resent the fact that, despite my partner’s equal involvement during these years and now as grandparents, I am expected to be the only one, because of my gender, to regularly participate in childcare.”she added.
A choice that sparked a number of reactions following the publication of the article. One Internet user wrote: “Expecting grandparents to look after their children more than one day a week is selfish… I love them, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not my job to raise them.” A thorny subject that has already been debated on the Women’s Journal forum. A few years ago, Lucienne explained her situation to us. “I am a grandmother of 4 small children that I look after very often, almost every day in fact. With my husband, we take care of them a lot and if at the beginning, it made us happy and we were happy to help, now, it is almost a chore… I am ashamed to say it, but both of us would like to enjoy our retirement, go on vacation… just have time for ourselves! But it is difficult to tell our children without upsetting them, so we say nothing.”