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Between school and extracurricular activities and the different expectations of parents, children are increasingly exposed to “rushed child syndrome”, a situation in which demands exceed their natural stage of development. For their health, both mental and physical, it is time to slow down.
Between school and home, young people are sometimes exposed to pressures and demands today that are beyond their natural stage of development. And while we may be proud as parents to see them taking on more and more responsibility and autonomy, this is not necessarily a good thing for their mental well-being.
What is the hurry-up child syndrome?
If your child has to learn to behave like a little adult, it is likely that he or she is affected by the hurry-up child syndrome. This term, proposed by psychologist David Elkind in 2019, represents children and adolescents who are pushed to behave like adults, despite their young age. The psychologist sees three main causes:
- Parents, who always demand more, because they are afraid of failure, and see their children as miniature adults;
- School, which demands results and performance;
- The media that exposes our children to the harsh world all the time, while they don’t always have the emotional management to deal with it.
Why is this a problem?
But growing up too fast is not a good thing. According to a recent study published by the magazine Forbeschildren who are asked to mature too quickly despite their emotional development would suffer more from anxiety, depression while developing poor self-esteem.
The desire and need to succeed and remain competitive would also take precedence over play, learning and natural growth. Finally, the consequences would not only be mental: children in a hurry also suffer from physical disorders: lack of sleep, poor diet and lack of physical activity.
Fortunately, it is still possible to slow down the pace and give children back their childhood temporality. To do this, psychologist Mark Travers gives several keys in Forbes magazine, to put back into everyday life.
Encourage play over performance
Play helps children develop social and emotional skills, as a 2018 study found. So when children play in groups, they learn communication, collaboration, and negotiation. When they play alone, they leave room for imaginative scenarios and imitation of interactions. The most important thing is to let them explore.
Set achievable goals
Parents should also review their expectations for their children and set achievable goals based on their abilities and interests. It doesn’t matter if your child is not first in everything.”It is better to encourage a growth mindset, where effort and perseverance are valued over perfection,” reports Mark Travers.
Celebrate successes whatever they may be
Other research suggests that celebrating successes, big and small, boosts your children’s morale and gives them a sense of positivity. This can be combined with discussions about their progress, desires, and aspirations.
Review the schedule
Finally, thinking about a balanced schedule that takes into account your child’s needs is the basis for reducing stress and defusing this “hurried child” syndrome. Extracurricular activities should be limited, and separated from family time and outings.Shared meals, outings, game nights or simple moments spent together provide stability and security essential to well-being”says Mark Travers. Rest must also find its place in this busy schedule. Nothing too much, so that your child can manage his time alone, without stress and without being in too much of a hurry.
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