“How was your day at school?” is THE wrong question to ask a child. Try these instead

You went to pick up your child from school and you have the habit of asking him the same question every day so that he can tell you what he did: “How was your day at school? ” But his answer is usually very simple: “it went well”, “yes” or “it was good”. And for good reason: the question is too broad. Some children sometimes even tend to roll their eyes; these questions seem to bore them. “Most adults want to unplug after work and leave their day behind – kids are the same.” child psychologist Dr. Martha Deiros Collado tells CNBC. “Their mind needs a break and often their main focus is on food, fun, play and rest” she adds.

So, what questions should you ask after school to encourage your child to tell us about their day? The specialist recommends focusing first on emotions by expressing your joy at seeing him after a long day. Then observe if he is rather smiling or withdrawn. Depending on their reaction, you will then be able to better decipher the events of their day: “You look so happy! Something fun must have happened today,” or vice versa “you look upset, do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?“These slightly more specific questions could help him open up more. But that’s not all.

“Timing is also essential” believes another psychologist, Dr. Linda Papadopoulos. It is better to wait until your child is in a calm moment, rather than questioning him as soon as you pick him up from school, or as soon as he gets in the car. “Bedtime is nice, kids are more relaxed. Sometimes the need to unwind before bed is a great opportunity to talk, especially if you’re lying next to them,” she advises. For the little ones, the ideal time would be to start the conversation around a manual activity, such as modeling clay, coloring or a puzzle…”

Good questions to ask after school

• What made you laugh today?
• What was your favorite thing to do today?
• What did you enjoy most about recess? And in the canteen?
• Were you feeling sad today? What happened to make you feel better?
• What games did you like to play at recess?
• What new did you learn in class?
• What did you play with your friends?
• If you had to draw a picture of your day, what would you put on the sheet?

Another tip: talk about your own day so that you can share some funny anecdotes with him. He’ll probably want to do the same.. “Talk about something real, something that made you laugh, something that surprised you, something that reminded you, someone you talked to, what you ate for lunch, something how you felt today… Sharing your day increases the chances that your child will want to… share their day” explains Dr. Deiros Collado.