Performing therapy can be confusing, especially when it comes time to end the relationship with your psychologist. Whether it’s because of an incompatibility or just because you feel ready to go it alone, it’s important to quit the right way.
The relationship between patients and psychologists is unique. They are based on trust and intimacy, “we try to build a therapeutic alliance“, immediately indicates Catherine Demangeot, psychotherapist. And sometimes, like all relationships, they may reach a point where it is time to say goodbye. “The term break refers to breaking, releasing, terminology that questions the therapeutic relationship. We prefer the term “stop” therapy“, suggests Catherine Demangeot. Why stop therapy? How to end to therapy in the best possible way? Is there a good time or a bad time?
Why stop therapy?
There are many reasons why someone may want to end your therapeutic relationship. Sometimes, a dependent or manipulative relationship may develop, challenging the balance and trust between therapist and patient. You may also realize that you constantly project your neurosis onto your shrink, which can hinder your personal development. Moreover, “the psychologist must not become indispensable in the patient’s life. The objective is toreach a stage of autonomy where the patient takes responsibility by accepting himself. He must be able to fully express his agency and be more assertive in his life.” emphasizes the psychotherapist.
When to break up with your shrink?
“The right time to end therapy is when you have overcome your inhibitions, your resistances, and that you understand the repetitive patterns not to be reproduced. It’s when you feel less impeded in your personal or professional life and are able to face failure.“says Catherine Demangeot. It is important to not wanting to fix everything, psychotherapy is a process of continuous introspection. “Once the patient knows his mechanisms, has deconstructed and reconstructed his thought patterns and is able to talk about him kindlyit seems that the therapy has achieved its goal“adds our expert.
To announce your decision, it is recommended to do so during a face-to-face session. This respects the therapeutic relationship principle of trust and mutual respect and gives the opportunity to discuss your decision in a secure way. “We take care of the meeting and the beginning of the relationship. It is equally important to take care of the separation” defends the psychotherapist. In general, the decision to end the therapy must be made by the patient, although this may vary depending on the therapeutic methods. The therapist is there to identify if the patient is clear and aware about this. “I set a framework from the start. If the patient wants to interrupt the therapy, he must be able to verbalize it, discuss it in order to prevent this decision from being a sudden break” emphasizes our interlocutor who recommends schedule 2 closing sessions to review therapy.
Can you keep a link with your shrink after therapy?
“It’s better to not maintaining contact with the psychologist after the end of the therapyrecommends the psychotherapist. Indeed, “mixing the spheres can reveal a difficulty in separating and really closing the therapeutic process”.
What are the wrong ways to end therapy?
Attempting to abruptly interrupt work and support is one of the worst ways to end therapy. Take the unilateral decision to stop therapy without informing the shrink can lead to an abrupt separation which does not make it possible to give meaning to this departure. “Not being able to separate healthily, end a relationship (here with his shrink) reveals an underlying problem of separations“says Catherine Demangeot. “During therapy, there is a so-called plateau period which often manifests itself by the feeling of going in circles. absolutely avoid leaving therapeutic work at this time. It is essential to confront its problems. On the other hand, if this period lasts too long, do not hesitate to verbalize it with your therapist.“concludes our expert.
Thanks to Catherine Demangeot, psychotherapist and sex therapist specializing in couple therapy, certified in the TRE method and founder of the podcast “Qui m’aime moi follow”.