We all have in our minds the image of a teacher yelling at the poor, frightened student. A few years later, that of a manager beside himself in front of stunned employees. This is the daily life of some people, faced with an aggressive personality that explodes at every turn. However, organizations should not minimize this scourge, particularly those that are fans of flex offices or open spaces: 45% of working people (52% among those under 35) declare that noise at work has repercussions on their work. daily. In addition, 60% of respondents mentioned “fatigue, weariness and irritability” and 50% mentioned stress due to noise exposure. “Psychological suffering concerns 31% of active workers, including 61% of those [qui se disent] often bothered by noise at work. Incomprehension with management, tensions and aggressiveness within teams would be a result.” (7th barometer “Noise and hearing health at work”, Ifop-JNA, October 2023.) If the employer has the obligation to ensure health and safety at worktrying to find solutions to resist a manager’s outbursts is also one for those who have no other choice but to stay.
Remain discreet and do not let yourself be subjugated
The aggressive person may have psychopathic tendencies. Daring as a comparison? The reference medical tool is the scale developed by Canadian psychologist Robert D. Hare, the PCL-R20, which includes 20 criteria to compare the degree of psychopathy of a subject with that of a prototypical psychopath. These include: talkativeness, charm, overestimation of oneself, tendency to lie and manipulate and inability to accept responsibility for one’s own actions (interpersonal style); lack of empathy, absence of remorse or guilt (affective style); intolerance of boredom, need for stimulation, impulsivity (lifestyle); varied and repeated infractions, without concern for the consequences for oneself or for others (antisocial behavior).
According to Hare, who investigated penitentiaries, only 1% of the general population would be affected (Without Consciousness: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Surrounding Us, Guilford Publications, 1999). Phew. But “1 in 25 leaders could be a psychopath,” indicates an article by psychologist Paul Babiak, published in the Guardianin September 2011.
1st advice: “Know how to recognize them, warn psychiatrists François Lelord and Christophe André (The New Difficult Personalities. How to understand them, accept them, manage them, Odile Jacob, 2021). Be wary of your outbursts of sympathy, know how to listen to the testimonies of those who know them.” Remain discreet and keep them away (2nd tip): “Above all, avoid bringing them into your personal life, which could make you envious of your life, of your friends, of your material advantages.”
Don’t let yourself be moved or charmed (3rd tip): “Power of conviction, audacity, self-confidence, disdain for rules or conformism… You risk taking a little time before noticing his weak empathy and his ability to take advantage of YOU.” “He’s a thug, a trickster/But you see despite everything/Yes I adore him/He’s my love, my treasure/Yes I adore him/Every day a little stronger”, sang Pauline Ester, fascinated by her bad boy. Do not submit or let yourself be intimidated by his nerve and his charisma (4th tip): you sometimes have to train so as not to forget it when you have him in front of you.
React without delay and without humiliating
Don’t humiliate him (5th tip): “Show him consideration. You can maintain a ‘manageable’ relationship by showing that you appreciate some of his strong points, such as his ability to convince others, his charm, his resourcefulness “. Don’t give a moral lesson either (6th tip): “At best, you will make him laugh, at worst, you will make him angry.”
On the other hand, you must react in the event of an infraction of the basic rules of reciprocity (7th tip): “Unauthorized use of your property, parasitism, flirting, self-promotion for a success for which you are responsible, shameless lying… React immediately. Report that you have spotted the fault and do not accept it”, warn François Lelord and Christophe André. Difficult to react like this, especially with your boss? However, there is no need to hesitate, insist the two psychiatrists. “Otherwise, out of excessive indulgence, not to make a fuss or lack of self-affirmation, [il en conclura] that you are a weakling who can be manipulated at will, and expect the escalation.” Crossing swords allows you to stay straight in your d’Artagnan boots, especially if it is not Richelieu opposite .
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