The passive-aggressive doesn’t say things clearly, which can be disconcerting. He says “yes” but thinks “no”.
A person is said to be passive-aggressive when he uses various indirect stratagems to express his hostility. Instead of openly addressing what bothers her, she says something completely different. The passive-aggressive is the one who says “yes” but thinks “no”. For example, he may pretend that everything is fine, say that he is not angry when in the tone of his voice and in his attitude, his annoyance is perceptible. The passive-aggressive also tends to overuse sarcasm, notably by saying “but no, I’m joking” when the objective is clearly to hurt you. In case of opposition, the passive-aggressive cuts the link. In love, at work, in family… Being around a passive-aggressive person is not easy on a daily basis. According to Pascal Anger, clinical psychologist in Paris, you have to be subtle.
Most often, passive-aggressive behavior is a psychological defense mechanism. Also, don’t take things personally. The passive aggressive person is not even aware of this facet of his personality, he reacts in this way in a situation of stress or pressure. Likewise, you must always show calm and gentleness with this type of personality who is very easily misdirected. “When faced with a passive-aggressive person, it is better not to get angry because your interlocutor will use your reaction to turn against you. Tell them gently and reassuringly what you perceived of their behavior. remember that mutism is specific to his personality, and it is also what makes him strong. According to him, he has no problems. Encourage him to verbalize what is wrong and make him understand that his. behavior can be problematic”suggests Pascal Anger.
The passive-aggressive doesn’t want to talk? He assures you that everything is fine? Instead of trying to figure out what’s going on and agree with him, tell him, “Okay, if you say everything’s fine, the discussion is over.” By doing this, you will confront him with his own contradictions, and he will find himself destabilized. In short, never play into her game. If she makes an inappropriate remark to you, control your anger while remaining firm. Make her understand that she has crossed the line and will not be able to reach you. By setting a clear framework and asserting yourself in a respectful manner, you defuse the situation before it gets worse.
Finally, for the passive-aggressive to take responsibility. “Ask him ‘What’s going on?’ What do you blame me for and how can we fix things?” So, you invite your interlocutor to say things simply and sincerely, without being too vague. The objective is to make them understand that remaining in discomfort or an annoyance and ruminating is useless” finally suggests the psychologist.