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in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical Psychologist)
Your partner is receiving more and more private messages and you find this suspicious? How do you know if you should worry or if you are exaggerating? We asked our psychologist this very concrete question. She gives us some elements to observe.
Cling!… Here’s another message on your partner’s phone. A common occurrence these days, in the influx of Whatsapp groups and notifications that surround us, but this time you fear that it’s another form of connection. How can you be sure? Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist, tells us the signs that can confirm your fears.But the signs of theinfidelity can be subtle, and it is important to approach them with caution and discernment” she recalls however.
These changes in attitude that can guide you
If cheating occurs, even digitally, it is very likely that your partner’s behavior will change, especially when it comes to their smartphone.
“You notice that your partner suddenly becomes very protective of his phone. He keeps it within reach at all times, changes his passwords or turns off notifications.” says our shrink.
Frequent chats on WhatsApp at unusual hours can also arouse suspicion, “especially if he quickly deletes messages or hides the screen when you’re nearby.” On an emotional and physical level, decreased intimacy or irritability for no apparent reason may indicate discomfort.In any case, it is a sign that something abnormal is happening…” admits our expert.
Your partner might suddenly show an interest in their appearance or take up new activities that don’t include you, changing the usual dynamics of your relationship.
Communication is also a good barometer.”If your partner becomes less communicative, sharing few details about their day or avoiding serious discussions about your relationship, it may indicate an underlying problem.
That being said, all these signs, even when combined, do not prove infidelity. Beware of hasty conclusions, therefore.
“Other factors, such as work stress or personal concerns, may explain these changes.” recalls Amélie Boukhobza.
The important thing is to talk about it first of all…”Engage in a calm, non-accusatory conversation, expressing your feelings. And listen to what he has to say, to understand what is at stake and possibly find a solution.”
Whether infidelity is proven or not, it is also helpful to take the time to reflect on your own emotions and needs in the relationship.
“Even in the event of clear evidence of infidelity, I believe it is imperative discuss expectations and boundaries within the relationship. To decide together on the next steps, whether it is consulting a couples therapistto distance oneself or to work to rebuild trust” she emphasizes.
Slideshow: 10 Signs You’re Dealing With a Serial Cheater