A simple SMS that turns into repeated calls and becomes a permanent presence that continues to the home and at work. An erotomaniac person has the illusion of being loved and desired of a person who does not like him in reality. Erotomaniac “Invests all his time in his delirium to find the signs of his exclusive love” explains Nicolas Delorme, clinical psychologist. When you are the target of an erotomaniac, you have to react very quickly.
Erotomania is a delirium linked to psychosis, it is not a “narcissistic fantasy” underlines Nicolas Delorme. “We are not in belief or in fantasy, it is really a delirium with inflexibility.” This delirium develops in adulthood and generally affects women with a relational problem dating back to childhood. “Something in relation to the other has not really been initially set up” continues the clinical psychologist. The erotomaniac will never question the desire of the other, despite the obstacles, he is convinced. “The refusals he will receive will be interpreted as a scheme, or a strategy of the other to keep the relationship secret and hide a true love.”
How to get rid of it when you are the victim? According to our interlocutor “It is impossible to get rid of an erotomaniac person”. On the other hand, you have to protect yourself because it can become dangerous. “This can go as far as acting, in everything that encompasses. Once again, the erotomane subject feels called to be the object of desire of the other”warns Nicolas Delorme. It is imperative to detect it as soon as possible. “It starts with a lot of solicitation, messages …” Very quickly comes the insistence, the erotomaniac “Suggest that you wish, even though you have not formulated him. It is then necessary to stop.”
To protect yourself, it is absolutely necessary to show total indifference and quickly cut the bridges. Responding to messages, even to ask to be left quiet, nourishes a certainty, “He will always imagine a hidden meaning”. “Erotomania requires psychiatric management” explains the expert. Unfortunately, the latter almost never comes from the person concerned. The care most of the time occurs at the request of a third party, such as the family or even following a court decision. This is why we must remain vigilant because even if it seems romantic at first, erotomania is actually very difficult to manage.