A life you love is the life you REALLY want to live.
We sometimes hear that you should live your dreams rather than dream your life. Dreaming about your life gives direction, but is fantasy. On the contrary, living your dreams anchors yourself in reality and traces a path of intentions and concrete actions. But it still takes courage and resilience to make your wishes come true and live an intentional life. “It’s a very interesting and certainly topical subject, because having a life that we love isn’t that the ultimate goal to achieve for each of us? asks Dana Castro, psychotherapist. It’s almost like philosophy…”
The life we love is the life we REALLY want to live. It’s not the neighbor’s dream life, or even that of our best friend, to the extent that we all have different aspirations. “Some of us are predisposed to happiness and are able to see the positive in all circumstances, even in adversity. Others will need help to see the glass half full and achieve fulfillment.“Building a life that you love can seem very complex, or even impossible for some as everyday life is punctuated by irritating hazards, questions, doubts and unfortunate events and it is very easy to get carried away by the whirlwind of life and going into “autopilot” mode, sometimes having the impression of suffering, rather than enjoying it.
However, there are accessible ways to cultivate daily happiness and build the life you really want. The keys to a happy life are generally acquired in stages which, cumulatively, give a fulfilling and serene life framework:
► Allow yourself to be who you are and accept the fact that we are not perfect, which requires on the one hand learning to truly know ourselves (understanding how we function, being aware of our past, our interests, aspirations and desires, qualities, faults , flaws and darkness) with the help of short therapy, coaching or journaling (writing in a journal). And on the other hand, indulgence, patience and kindness towards oneself. “We have the right to have contradictions, down moments and mistakes are part of our learning.“
► Participate fully in what we do. The idea is to live in the present moment, to prevent yourself from ruminating about the past and to anticipate the future of which you cannot be sure. We must give meaning and dare to get to the bottom of things to appreciate life and the riches it offers us. If we stay on the surface, we miss a lot of things and we have the unpleasant impression of being a spectator in our life instead of being the leading role in it.
► Give yourself goals of life and establish priorities. To build an intentional, rich and fulfilling life, you need to know where you are going and what to aim for, by breaking down your objectives into concrete and realistic mini steps, which you do not hesitate to re-evaluate regularly.
► Find your passions and feed on resources that resemble us. “A bit like a vinaigrette: there is a basic recipe and yet everyone adds their own touch: a pinch of chives, a spoonful of honey, a little mustard… A fulfilled life means is the same, we have to come and compose it with activities that resemble us and that make it unique, it can be tennis, running, reading, theater, painting, cooking” illustrates Evelyne Rosalie, body psychotherapist.
► Bring a positive outlook on what surrounds us and on others: appreciating the qualities rather than focusing on their shortcomings.
Finally, play down the drama and put it into perspective. Living happily is also a question of perception and attitude, but also of the importance we give to negative things. Taking a step back means not falling into the immediate reaction that generally causes anxiety and ruins our lives. If an incident occurs, really think about the consequences and ask yourself how significant will it be in 1, 5 or 10 years? 99% of the time you won’t even remember it.