How to become more charismatic? Advice from a life coach

“THE charisma refers to an individual’s ability to inspire and influence others in a natural way, without really trying to convince them but simply by being themselves. defines Amandine Ruas, life coach and professional coach in Paris. This charisma is expressed in different aspects of our life. By the way we express ourselves, the way we behave, our posture, by the exemplarity that we embody. “But also by our way of being in the world, of being in relationships and very often, it is linked to our emotional skillsto our ability to listen to others, to express yourself at the right timeto be able to use appropriate words to communicate with others”she continues.

A skill within everyone’s reach (which comes from childhood)

For our expert, the charisma is not innate. It is a skill that can be worked on through practices, habits, automatisms that we will be led to develop through our life experience, through the education we have received or through ‘training. “When we say that a certain person has innate charisma, this does not mean that they were born with it, but simply thatshe learned very young to develop this charisma. Either because she grew up in a family in which she needed develop your charisma to attract attention from her parents who were not very present or attentive, or because her parents looked at her a lot and she developed a charisma thanks to the way her parents looked at her.”, argues the specialist. Whatever the contextit is the child in his environment who will develop ways of being to then possibly be encouraged by others who will lead him to develop a charismatic personality. In adulthood, charisma needs to be worked on.

Skills to work on

► Communication : Charisma develops by working on our ability to communicate with clear words, effectively and synthetically. But also by developing a sense of humor.

► Emotional intelligence : “A charismatic person has emotional skills that allow him to understand others and to know how to adapt to different individuals, to know how to communicate differently with one from another because individuals are not sensitive to the same subjects, to the same way of expressing oneself”indicates Amandine Ruas.

► Leadership : Developing your charisma also involves working on your leadership, that is to say the ability to unite people around a vision, a common objective. “This requires having a clear, clear, defined objective and being able to talk about it in a convinced and convincing“explains the life coach.

► Posture : Charisma can also be developed by working on your posture, which involves standing straight, smiling, having a rather open face, to smile with the eyes, when we have a serious speech, to embody it and live it.

► Authenticity: You cannot be charismatic if you appear fake, so it is necessary to be yourself, to embody what you say, your values, what you advocate.

In other words, charisma is a skill that is developed through daily practice. “For example, at work, following a meeting, you should not hesitate to ask for feedback from your colleagues on how you handled this meeting, how you managed conflicts, etc.,” illustrates our expert. A marriagea presentation at work, a birthday speech, exercises in front of the mirror to work on your smile, your posture, your voice, your softness, your intonation, all constitute opportunities to work on your charisma.

“Charismatic people can arouse jealousy and be disruptive”

“You can very well live a happy and fulfilled life without being charismatic, it is not an end in itself”, reassures Amandine Ruas. But if it is a quality that we want to develop, it can be interesting because in the professional environment, charismatic people will evolve more easily and will have better relationships at work. They will therefore also be able to access projects that interest them more, positions with more responsibilities, because they are people who know how to easily convince, inspire, and seduce to obtain support or a positive response to a request. On a personal level, developing your charisma allows you to feel better in a group with others, more comfortable with public speaking. However, charismatic people can cause jealousy and disturb. “Because a skill, whatever it may be, may or may not be appreciated. There are always two sides of the same coin: in certain situations, being very charismatic is extremely positive, it will propel us, and in others it can be disturbing”concludes the coach.

Thanks to Amandine Ruas, life coach and professional coach in Paris