Bringing up sensitive topics with your partner can feel like walking into a minefield. One slip and it escalates into a big fight. Therefore, many people wonder – is it possible to argue without hurting each other?
The sexologist Kalle Norwald believe that the answer to that question is yes. For News24 he tells you how to argue in a constructive way.
– Conflict is not bad, he says.
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Kalle Norwald tells Nyheter24 that conflicts are a necessary part of a love relationship. During his professional life, he has met many who are afraid to argue with their partner.
– Many people think that conflicts are a sign that the relationship is bad, but they say that because they don’t know how to argue nicely. It is a shame, because it is rather a sign that you think and think differently, he says and adds:
– And it is quite logical when you are together with another person who is not yourself. Conflict is not bad, but a sign that you need to communicate.
It is important to argue, says sexologist Kalle Norwald. Photo: Pontus Lunddahl /TT
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How do you argue then?
So it doesn’t have to be bad to think differently, but how should you act when a conflict arises?
Here, too, Kalle Norwald has an answer. He explains that it is a social skill that you need to learn.
Just like a pair of pants, there is rarely one thing that fits all. However, there are some obvious things that you should always keep in mind.
– Don’t shout at each other. Enter the conflict by trying to convey your own position and understand the other. Many people think that listening to the other person is very difficult, but it is important.
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“Stupid”
If the conversation still gets heated or destructive, Kalle Norwald thinks that you should pause and pick up the conversation at a later time.
The reason is that you risk acting in an affect and saying something that you cannot stand for.
A little respite from the troublesome emotions can make one more rational and less mean.
– It can be good to leave the room for a few minutes. Many people think “we have to solve it now, we have to finish arguing”. But the thing is that when we are angry or very sad, we also become very stupid in the head, says Kalle Norwald.
Despite that, he wants to urge all couples in love to dare to face conflicts, as long as they take place under respectful circumstances:
– It’s also a way to get to know your partner, so don’t be afraid of a conflict!
A “nice fight” can make the couple feel closer to each other. Photo: Stina Stjernkvist/TT
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