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in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical Psychologist)
Aside from love at first sight, developing romantic feelings for someone doesn’t happen in a matter of seconds. But according to a survey conducted by a well-known dating site, there is a very specific timing, which is measured in days and messages sent.
Love at first sight is often a movie story. In reality, it probably takes a little more time and exchanges to develop sincere feelings. Yes, but how much? Adopt a Guy has his own little idea on the matter.
254 days to fall in love
According to a survey conducted in 2018 based on its statistics, the site announces that we fall in love (on average) after 254 days and 268 messages sent to create a bond. In detail, (and this is important), men and women would not have the same timing.
According to the study, men fall in love a little less quickly, after 276 days (compared to 232 for women), and 312 messages (compared to 224 for women). If we follow this reasoning, men only fall in love when women are already in love. A somewhat clichéd answer, but with figures.
A slightly more complex attachment in reality
Does it only take an ideal amount of time and a few daily text messages to predict a viable love? We wanted to get a psychologist’s opinion. And our expert is not convinced by this calculation.
“Love is a deeply subjective and individual experience… So the statistics from the site “Adopte un mec” offer an interesting average, but, in my opinion, they cannot capture the complexity of human emotions” emphasizes Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
“Falling in love depends of so many factors – past personal experiences, chemistry between people, expectations, values, and even the circumstances of the meeting… Some people can feel love at first sight almost immediately, while for others, love develops more slowly, with time and interactions. It seems really difficult to quantify or generalize a precise time frame for falling in love.”
What we do know, however, is that the euphoria of being in love lasts about six months from a hormonal point of view. Beyond that, this state often evolves into a more stable and deeper love.
Slideshow: 10 signs you’re falling in love