PROVINCE OF UTRECHT – ‘Should we all join the fight?’ Or: ‘Can’t we just put Putin in jail?’ The Russian invasion of Ukraine also raises many questions among children. How do you deal with that? “You want to protect your child from this news, but you can’t really do that, because the news is everywhere,” says Marielle Balledux, developmental psychologist at the Netherlands Youth Institute.
So start a conversation, says the developmental psychologist. She emphasizes the importance of answering questions. “Answer and don’t elaborate too much. For example, don’t say what can happen, because we don’t really know that either.” The age of the child is also important to take into account, Balledux emphasizes.
Another tip Balledux gives is to ask what has been discussed at school about it. Or in the schoolyard for example. And stick to it now. “If a kid asks if we’re going to be bombed too, tell them it isn’t now.”
‘Tell them it’s safe with you’
There is a lot of news about the war. There are many images and messages on television and social media. That can be frightening and questions can arise about that, says Balledux. ‘Where should those people who are leaving live then?’ mentions Balledux as an example question. Let it be known that people care about each other. “The idea that people help each other, both there and here, is very important to pass on to children.”
According to the developmental psychologist, reassuring a child is never possible. “Adults also have fear and you can’t completely reassure them. But children need the feeling of familiarity and safety. You can’t promise them that it won’t get worse there, but you can promise them that they will always come to you. can with questions.” She sums it up. “You want them to know you’re safe.”