How to recognize if your child is a victim of school bullying? here are the 5 signs that should alert you, typical of children being bullied at school.
Few adults manage to see the discomfort of a child who is bullied at school. And for good reason, between shame and fear, children are the champions of dissimulation, and almost never seek the intervention of an adult when they are victims of school bullying. The victim sometimes thinks he can solve his problems on his own, most of the time trying to hide his ill-being from his parents by fear of disappointing them. Or out of fear of even more virulent reprisals from their harassers Moreover, it is not easy for an adult to distinguish between a situation of school harassment and “little recess disputes”. And even if adults notice that the child is feeling bad, they sometimes think it’s normal, childhood and adolescence being periods of highly variable moods, made of ups and downs… In general , it’s necessary be alert to any changes in behavior, without dramatizing, but also without minimizing the facts. If in doubt, it is important to discuss it with your child and encourage him to confide in some adult. Here are some benchmarks:
1 – The child no longer wants to go to school
School bullying has consequences on the daily life of the child. “A student who suddenly no longer wants to go to class, or who drags his feet, is not a shirker“, explains Nora Fraisse in her guide “Stop bullying!” It is indeed necessary to pay attention to this malaise which can be characterized by difficulty in getting up in the morning, rejection from school, the desire to stay at home, the fear of taking the school bus, being late or asking for money. Your child may therefore ask you to accompany him, exceptionally, in front of the school door, until the gates open or pick it up at the exit in the evening.
2 – The child is marked with bruises, his equipment deteriorated
No matter how much he tells you that he fell without doing it on purpose, your child is not that clumsy. Its equipment is regularly vandalizedhe asks you for a new kit because his has taken on water (accidentally), he loses his notebooks, his coat, he comes home with mud stains or injuries…
3 – The child is exhausted and has problems
His fear of going to class and to face again these students who mistreat him can be transformed by anguish, stomach aches, tears, enuresis or nausea. He must constantly be on his toes, be alert to his surroundings and this exhausts him. “He can also have nightmares, develop eczema, lose his hair, have hormonal disorders, especially for girls (late periods for example), or even growth retardation.“, explained psychologist Hélène Romano in a previous interview. At home, he may also seem absent and worried, be agitated, complain, have a loss of appetite or become irritable and aggressive.
4 – The child is isolated
A bullied child finds himself alone with his bullies. “He isn’t invited to his classmates’ birthday parties, and doesn’t have anyone’s contact details. Besides, if he misses a lesson and wants to catch up, he won’t know who to contact.” says Hélène Romano. He will tend to play alone and to withdraw, sometimes even to hide in the toilets or at the CDI during recess, to eat quickly in the canteen to better take refuge afterwards. He will try to avoid places frequented by his classmates, and will not want to celebrate his birthday at home.
5 – The child is failing at school
The victim may also have difficulty concentrating in class. The school, supposed to be the place where the child feels protected, then becomes dangerous for him. Disturbed by what is happening around him, by the bad nights spent and by his constant fear… the child finds it difficult to remain attentive. He drops out, and it shows in his school results. When he is old enough to do so, he will go so far as to skip class, without telling anyone. In the meantime, he will try to avoid his attackers by being systematically late or absent.