Here’s Why Punishments Don’t Work, According to a Child Development Expert

To make a child understand his mistakes, many parents resort to punishment. However, if we are to believe Becky Kennedy, an expert in child development, this method is not effective, for at least three reasons.

Punishments do not allow the child to develop new skills

The punishments are rather degrading for the image of a child. Indeed, when we punish a child, we do not give him the opportunity to understand why what he did is wrong and how to repair his mistake. In an Instagram post, Becky Kennedy expands on this aspect. “LChildren are born with emotions, but not with the skills to regulate them. Every behavior is accompanied by an emotion. The best way to improve behavior is to develop skills“.

Instead of punishing your child for his stupidity, it will be more productive to discuss with him what he did, so that he can give you explanations and think about how he can improve, ‘future.

Punishments make you feel shame

A child is rarely proud of being punished. On the contrary, ending up in a corner generates a feeling of shame, which will potentially generate bad behavior later. “When we punish a child, he feels ashamed. And shame paralyzes. And if a child is paralyzed, he cannot learn, grow and change” warns Becky Kennedy.

Punishments give a negative self-image

A child who is punished will have a negative image of himself. Punishing him makes him feel like he’s a bad person. However, to be able to learn on a daily basis, a child needs to have confidence in himself. “Children respond to the image that is given to them. This is how they construct their identity. We can’t tell them ‘go to your room, what’s wrong with you?’ and expect them to improve their behavior. Children must feel good inside for good behavior to emerge.” summarizes Becky Kennedy.

Slide: 10 ideas for “positive punishments”